A Little Past Logical A Lot About Love
by Austen2388
Summary: Mr. and Mrs. Potter- or James and Lily- are at the top of their game. Well-respected field operatives for the Order of the Phoenix,they have given up having a home and the careers of their choice to fight. Now,Lily's pregnant and everything will change.
1. Not Eating Dinner

Rated M for strong language, violence, sexual innuendo, alcohol use, and references to drug abuse. Nothing truly graphic, but be warned.

They were the couple that made single people jealous, and older people shake their heads fondly lost in memory. The couple laughed, cooed, and had lively conversation the whole time that they had sat in the corner table of the dimly lit, fancy restaurant. They were obviously so in love that they had left their food and drinks untouched, and the only time their speech stopped was when the pretty redhead reached across the table with her left hand to lovingly stroke the face of the black haired, bespectacled man. One man let out an audible sound of disgust as he noticed the gold band on the woman's ring finger.

James Potter had heard the Muggle. "Lily," he smiled and leaned in, "I think were making people jealous."

"Well," Lily sighed, leaning back in her chair, "I suppose I am quite the catch."

James laughed out loud, and Lily followed suit. Husband and wife both knew that Lily Evans Potter's vanity was all for laughs. Though, James thought, the statement is true.

James picked at his pasta with his fork, rearranging the pieces. "I'm hungry," he said honestly.

"Me, too," Lily admitted, "We'll eat when we get off duty." She eyed her lamb chops longingly.

"This looks good," James commented. "Are you sure it's poisoned?"

"All I know for sure, is that the chef has been put under the Imperius curse," Lily replied exasperated. It sounded as if the happy couple had this bit of conversation before.

Just then the waiter came upon them. James felt sorry for the poor chap, who seemed to have gotten more and more confused with each course he served them. "How is everything over here?" he asked, looking down dismally at their untouched food. As long as they pay, he sighed inwardly.

"Oh, fine, fine," Lily replied simultaneously with James' "Excellent."

The poor waiter looked even more perplexed at their responses, which clearly suggested the contrary. "Is there anything I can do for you?" It looked as though the question was painful for him.

"Hmm, just the desert menu, please," Lily responded graciously as the waiter slowly began to gather up their plates. He nodded and left. "Poor man," Lily sighed.

"Lily," James began, "I just don't think I can take the torture of ordering deserts and not be able to -" James stiffened as he stopped speaking abruptly. Lily turned to follow his gaze, as almost everyone else in the restaurant had done.

From the rainy November night walked in the Prime Minister of Muggles and his wife, surrounded by their entourage. The prime minister was quickly ushered over to his usual table near where James and Lily sat. They heard the prime minister tell the waiter, "my usual," without even taking the menu offered to him. His wife simply nodded in agreement.

"Well, he gets good service, don't he?" James asked sardonically.

"Shh," his wife responded, "We need to listen."

James nodded, "Right." He then obediently fell silent. They continued to watch the prime minister for several minutes before they saw the chef leave the kitchens, brushing off the waiter who was waiting to retrieve the minister's meal, which the chef was delivering personally.

"That's our cue," Lily directed, as she stood up. James smiled at her, and secretly pulled out his wand, keeping it out of sight of Muggle eyes.

Lily worked her way over to the prime minister. "Ahh," she made her presence known, "Mr. Minister." His guards moved in around her.

Dammit, James swore in his head. I won't be able to get a clear shot. As James stood up, pretending that he needed to use the restroom, he heard Lily mumble something about the Muggle government's stand on animal rights. James smiled to himself, That was the speech she used on the Ministry about werewolves. As he moved past them, he saw what he was waiting for. There was the imperiused chef moving quickly toward the prime minister. The next second the chef was standing dazed in the middle of the restaurant, the plates of food drooping at a dangerous angle, as James tucked his wand back into his jacket. That, he smirked, was too easy.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't remain so.

Four loud cracks revealed four looming hooded and masked figures. James groaned. Now, they were outnumbered in a restaurant full of Muggles. Pushing thoughts of the incredible amount of Memory charms he would have to perform later out of his mind, James sprang into action. Lily did the same. She ordered the patrons under their tables, while she personally pushed the prime minister under his. The minister's body guards, however, were attempting to charge the figures. All the other restaurant goers had heeded Lily and were now crouching under the tables as flashes of light had started to fly through the room. One of the Death Eaters pointed their wand at a bodyguard, who suddenly became immobilized and fell flat before the hooded figure could mutter an incantation. The Death Eater looked at James, as he stupefied all the bodyguards.

"Came to your senses, and joined our side have you, Potter," a low voice leered.

Recognizing the voice, James shrugged. "For their own protection, Lestrange," he yelled as he ducked a curse thrown by another Death Eater. He sent a jet of red light at the attacking Death Eater, before turning to deal with Rodolphus Lestrange. As he turned, he saw him raise his wand towards a family of terrified Muggles. "IMPEDIMENTA " James bellowed, and Lestrange was knocked onto his back. James quickly followed with, "EXPELLIARMUS " Lestrange's wand flew out of his hands. James was about to stupefy the disarmed Lestrange, when he saw another Death Eater sneaking up on Lily, who was busy dueling another, smaller Death Eater. Anger washed over him. As James started towards the man, the sneak attacker's wand went flying over his head and landed 12 feet away. With a flash of light, the man James was advancing on found himself hanging upside down in the air. In the next moment, invisible cords shot out of the tip of James' wand and wrapped themselves tightly around the struggling body. The Death Eater was sent crashing back down to the ground. But it seemed that James had taken one moment too many in attacking the coward, because just then . . .

"Aargh," James cried out in pain as burning sensation hit the back of his neck. Turning on reflex, he barely had time face Lestrange and another advancing Death Eater before they both bellowed, "IMPEDIMENTA " with such force that it sent James flying through the glass front of the restaurant. The two Death Eaters followed him out, though they were on their feet.

Lily turned toward the noise, and saw her husband go sailing out into the street. "James," she gasped completely distracted by the scene. Her moment of distraction cost Lily dear as the Death Eater she had been fighting had taken this opportunity to grab Lily around the neck and point their wand at Lily's chest.

"Is poor Mrs. Potter worried about her darling, blood-traitor of a husband," a sickly smooth woman's voice sounded through the mask. " Don't worry, dear, my husband will finish him off."

Regaining composure, Lily spoke through gritted teeth, "Ahh, Bellatrix please don't tell me this sloppy plan to poison the prime minister was all your idea?" Something silver shot out of the end of Lily's wand that Bellatrix didn't notice.

"This trap was, indeed, my doing," Bellatrix leered. There were panicked shouts coming from the nearly empty Muggle street, and they didn't belong to James.

Lily felt heartened. "Doesn't sound like this trap is going to well,"she growled. And then Lily did three things at once. She put her high heeled foot down hard on Bellatrix's, elbowed her in the stomach, and threw all of her weight backwards. Bellatrix's wand arm flew into the air away from Lily, as they came crashing down onto the nearest table before rolling off onto the floor. "IMPEDIMENTA " Lily gasped, and a recovering Bellatrix was thrown onto her back. Almost simultaneously, several more people appeared out of thin air. Looking under the table, Lily was relieved to see that they were members of the Order of the Phoenix. "James is outnumbered in the street," she cried. She saw two pairs of feet scurry out the door. The next thing Lily knew, Remus Lupin was standing behind her as she kneeled on the ground, his wand aimed at Bellatrix. Another figure, that Lily recognized as Emmeline Vance, moved behind Bellatrix, wand also at the ready. Before anything could be done, however, Bellatrix had apparated.


	2. Suspicions Revealed

The tired and battered Order members slumped around a long, scrubbed wooden table in the kitchen of an old stone farmhouse, which was conveniently situated between nothing and nowhere thus making it perfect for headquarters. James and Lily sat side by side amongst them packing away food faster than it could be conjured.

"It really was a weak attempt at assassination," Emmeline Vance commented wearily, exhausted by all the Memory charms she had performed that evening.

"That's because it was a trap," Lily explained before continuing to shovel more food into her mouth with as much alacrity as her husband.

"For who?" Remus asked.

"Dunno," James shrugged, "maybe for Lily and me, or Alice and Frank. Or, maybe, for any two Order members who got sucked into it." He fell silent again as he lifted a fork full of mashed potatoes to his mouth.

"That sounds likely," another Order member piped up.

"Someone report to Dumbledore?" Emmeline inquired.

James nodded and swallowed. "We did," he said gesturing with his fork at Lily and himself, "while you guys were looking after the Muggles."

"We would have helped," Lily chirped, "but . . ."

"Neither of you were in any condition to dole out Memory charms, so don't you dare feel guilty. What with James' being cut up the way he was no one expected you, Lily, to hang around," a man named Edgar Bones cut her off from the corner.

Everyone's eyes turned towards James, who looked much the worse for wear as he stopped forcing food down his throat. Only a few cuts remained on his face, covered in a thick paste. The others had mended immediately with treatment. "I'll be fine," he said in answer to their concerned gazes. "Dumbledore called Madam Pomfrey to his office as soon as he saw me. There won't even be any scarring."

Lily smiled up at him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, before returning to her food. She had been so worried, but the worry had become a part of a vicious routine. They'd fight, one of them would get injured, the other would be filled with worry and alarm, then they'd be healed and the process would start all over again.

"The woman is good at what she does," Remus complimented the absent Madam Pomfrey.

"That is true," Edgar Bones joined, "but I'm also sure she told James and Lily to get some rest? Not to mention, we all need it."

Everyone murmured and nodded in agreement and left the table. Lily and James trudged upstairs. They had been working so much lately, that they had been some of the few to have taken up residence at headquarters. Out of respect of their marital status, the two of them had been given the master bedroom with the adjacent bathroom. They were grateful for the privacy it offered, but were too tired to think of bathing or doing anything else that evening. They fell into bed, James wrapped his arms around his wife as per usual, and they were asleep without another thought.

Towards morning there was a shift of weight in the bed. The soft patter of footsteps on the hardwood floor could be heard one after the other in quick succession. Then, the sound of retching brought James around to full consciousness. Inwardly, he sighed. He had been waking up like this for a week now, ever since their return from the restaurant. James had assumed that the first night of Lily's vomiting was due to the gargantuan amount of food she had consumed that evening. But now, he was concerned. Tossing the bedclothes off of him, he got up and crossed to the bathroom.

There was Lily, kneeling on the tiled floor, retching into the toilet while one hand grasped the nape of her neck, vainly trying to keep her auburn locks out of the line of fire. James crossed to her and gathered her hair in his hands, whether it was vomited it on or not. Startled at the touch, Lily turned between retches and gave her husband a weak smile before ducking towards the toilet again. This, James mused to himself, is true love. He grabbed the damp washcloth from the sink and began to dab clean the ends of her hair.

It was another five minutes before Lily deemed it safe enough to pull away from the toilet. She rolled on to the floor, biting her lip and breathing deeply. She looked at James standing over her with an odd sort of intensity.

"Come on," he said gently. "Let's get you cleaned up and back to bed before we both catch our death." He extended a strong arm to help Lily to her feet. Lily was distracted as she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and pulled on another one of James' shirts to sleep in. She kept biting her lip. As she slipped into bed, she lifted James' arm and wrapped herself up in him. James' responded with a kiss on her temple and good, tight squeeze.

Feeling secure, Lily began, "James, I love you."

"I love you, too, Lily," he breathed drowsily. He was rapidly falling asleep.

"James," Lily practically squeaked, trepidation dripping from every word, "I think I'm pregnant."

If Lily had been looking at James, she would have seen his eyes open with alarming speed. He slowly released his wife and pulled himself into a sitting position. Lily moved to kneel beside him on the bed, and touched his shoulder. James turned to look at her with a lost expression on his face.

"It's just that all the symptoms are there. I'm nauseated all the time, but, when I do find food I can stand, I eat like a pig. And I'm really, really late on my period," Lily blundered, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she was aware of saying them.

The room fell silent when she was done speaking. James stared at the bedspread with Lily biting her lip at his shoulder. Lily knew that they had already decided to have children, but that was something they had planned on for the distant future, an after-the-war plan. Besides, even without the war, they were nineteen until their respective birthdays in January and March. They were simply much too young.

Several moments of silence passed before James exclaimed loudly, "How?"

After recovering from her surprise, Lily fixed her husband with a cocktail of exasperation and incredulity on her face.

James shook his head. "I mean . . . when?" he exclaimed almost as loudly as before. Lily continued her disbelieving stare with a new intensity, waiting for him to figure it out. His face screwed up in concentration, and then, "Oh."

That night at the end of October came back vividly into the forefront of his mind. It had been a particularly harrowing day, and at the end of it he and Lily were just ecstatic to still be alive and have each other. One thing, as always, led to another. James shook his head mentally. He couldn't believe it. Married or not, they were well aware of how young and busy they were, and usually took all necessary precautions to prevent this. But that one night . . .

James gulped. Lily nodded. "It's still not for sure," she said quietly, though sounding as if she knew that this was definite. "I've made an appointment at St. Mungo's Maternity for the end of the week."

James was silent again, as a million thoughts raced through his mind. It was definite. He knew it; he felt it. They were going to have a baby. He'd always wanted to be a father, a desire which was instilled in him by his own excellent and loving parents. He just always assumed that when it happened he'd have a career at least. But he did have a house, the same house he grew up in, they just didn't live there. That could easily be changed, however. And his crib and other things were still being stored in the room that had once been the nursery. The house in Godric's Hollow had been a fantastic place to grow up. It also had a large garden that James could remember running in. And trees that he would climb for hours everyday until he went to Hogwarts. Hogwarts. Dumbledore would be delighted to have another Potter at Hogwarts and in Gryffindor, too, James just knew it. And this child would be amazingly talented, after all he or she was coming from Lily and himself. James had always wanted to be a father, and this was his chance even if it was coming earlier than expected. He'd never wanted to be older parents like his were anyway.

Finally, James breathed excitedly, "This is wonderful." He turned to Lily and grabbed both of her hands. "We're going to be parents. I'm going to be a daddy, and were going to watch something that we created grow up." His eyes lit up as he continued, "And I'm going to teach he/she to play Quidditch in the garden. I wonder how old a child has to be before they can have a toy broomstick? And . . .," James stopped abruptly at the sight of tears streaming down Lily's face. She looked devastated.

"This is horrible," Lily whimpered as she took a deep shuddering breath. "Look at the mess our baby is going to be born into. Look at the state of the Wizarding world. James," she continued fearfully, "were known field operatives in the war against the most powerful Dark wizard ever. We've faced him three times already and barely escaped . . . what are we going to do when we have this baby?"

James face dropped almost as quickly as his heart plummeted into his stomach as the reality of what Lily was saying washed over him. "This is horrible," he croaked. Silence again and then . . .

"No," Lily gasped through her tears as a vivid image of a sun filled room occupied by herself holding a small bundle in her arms, James at her shoulder, flitted into her mind. A thousand imaginary birthdays and Christmases, with her very own family and no hateful siblings, flashed through her mind. She and James would work through the obstacles; they always did. "This is still wonderful. I'm going to be a mummy," she smiled at the term. "We're going to be parents, and nothing is going to stop us from loving our baby. Or each other. I think that is what really matters in the end."

Lily and James wrapped their arms around each other and stayed that way for several minutes, kissing occasionally. After a while, they returned to their usual sleeping position, Lily wrapped securely in her husband. James placed a strong and gentle hand on her stomach thoughtfully. Lily smiled to herself as she felt sleep wash over her. They were both tired out by their conflicting emotions.

"I'm going with you to St. Mungo's," James whispered into Lily's ear.

"Thank you," Lily whispered back and nestled closer into James.


	3. A Flower is a Delicate Thing

Lily lay on her back, tummy exposed, on top of a small padded table in the examination room located in the maternity ward at St. Mungos. James, who was sitting in a rather uncomfortable chair next to the table, was watching a Healer run a curious instrument over his wife's stomach. The instrument was two cylinders put together to resemble macaroni, with glass lenses on one end and, on the flat end, an electric blue ball that rolled around within the confines of its cylinder. James eyes flashed from the tool to the image on the special screen at the opposite end of the room. "How does that work?" he asked skeptically, eyeing the instrument.

The Healer gave a small laugh. "The eye, or the little blue ball, can see through the layers of skin and tissue. Then the image is magically projected through the lenses to the screen," she explained as she continued to roll the Magical Sonogram machine over Lily's stomach. "Ah," the Healer exclaimed.

"What,?" Lily and James asked together.

"There's your baby " The Healer pointed at the screen. Lily and James looked at each other; obviously, neither of them could see it.

"Where?" Lily queried, searching the image intently for anything that remotely resembled a life form.

The Healer chuckled, "Right there" as she pointed again. Slowly, but surely, they saw the dot that would become their child. Lily grabbed James' hand.

After a question and answer session with the Healer, it was time to go. "Well, Mrs. Potter you seem to be perfectly healthy, though you show a high level of stress. Might want to take that down a notch, relax you-know," the Healer half-joked. Lily smiled and nodded. "Other than that, just be careful."

James frowned as they left the hospital. 'Be careful.' the Healer had said. Surely, James thought, the Healer said those same word to all parents-to-be, but with us . . . Fear flooded through James . They were Order field operatives. Their lives were constantly at risk.

So tiny. So fragile. That was how the Healer had described the dot on the screen.

James was deep in anxious thought when they arrived back at headquarters. Lily, who was still dreamily rubbing her stomach, did not notice.

That evening, before the bi-weekly meeting, James asked Dumbledore if he may have a word with him. "Of course," Dumbledore responded, and he looked amused as James led him into the large pantry off the kitchen. Once inside, James lost his words. "Yes, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore prompted.

"Lily's pregnant," James blurted awkwardly.

Dumbledore looked delighted. "Congratulations " he exclaimed.

James couldn't help smiling, before forcing a frown back onto his face. "Thank you," he began, "but this puts Lily in a delicate state, a vulnerable position." He paused, suddenly feeling as though he was about to commit base treachery. But, if you don't . . . Dumbledore was looking at him expectantly. "I was just hoping you could rearrange the missions, so that-that," James stammered.

"Lily isn't on them?" Dumbledore finished. James nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. She's the love of my life; I'd die if she came to harm."

"It's done," Dumbledore stated. He moved towards the pantry door. Hand on the door knob he turned. "By the way, how far along is she? Just so I can know when to expect Baby Potter."

"Almost seven weeks," James answered.

"July then," Dumbledore nodded.

"End of July, yeah," James smiled.

"Excellent," Dumbledore smiled back before walking out of the pantry and into the kitchen.

"Well then," Dumbledore began as he started to wrap up the meeting, "there has been a change is situation for two of our operatives, soliciting a change is plans." He turned to Alice and Frank Longbottom. "Can you two cover the Harker mission?" The couple exchanged a small look of surprise, but nodded obligingly. "Excellent," Dumbledore said. "Now, Sirius, are you willing to let James work with you undercover?"

A startled Sirius looked both elated and confused. Usually, married couples work together or not at all. "Course," he responded.

James, too, looked elated, until he glanced at Lily. Once again, his heart plummeted to his stomach.

"Why the hell did you have Dumbledore switch assignments?" Lily screamed at her husband. They were standing 10 ft. apart in the downstairs parlor. Lily had sat through the rest of the meeting, looking from Dumbledore to James, until Dumbledore had adjourned them. That's when she had furiously leapt out of her chair and fled to the parlor. That's when James followed with great apprehension.

"Because you're pregnant," James reasoned through gritted teeth. He was hoping beyond hope that the rest of the Order wasn't able to hear Lily.

"Barely," Lily argued, though it sounded more like a scoff.

"You can't be barely pregnant. You're either pregnant or you're not," James countered, finally raising his voice a little out of incredulity.

"I meant that I'm not showing yet. I can still move. I can still work," Lily snapped.

James was forcibly reminded of his fifth year at Hogwarts. Every time he tried to defend Lily, to protect her, she would turn on him. Just like now. This was frustrating. "You're more vulnerable now, Lily. It's a truth you're going to have to-"

"Get out," Lily commanded in a low and deadly voice. Her green eyes were shooting daggers at her husband. James was immediately struck with what when wrong in his last statement. He had insinuated that his wife was weak. He knew she was about to explode. Still . . .

"Lily, I-"

GET OUT," she shrieked. It looked as though she was desperately fighting the urge to throw something at him. James, knowing that his continued presence could only upset Lily more, left the room slamming the door behind him. James could hear Lily sobbing from the hallway. Out of frustration, he slammed his hand into the wall. When he turned around, he saw Remus, Sirius, and Peter standing in front of him. Sirius shoved a butterbeer into his hand, while Remus asked, "What the hell is going on, James?"

**A/N: I actually did some research on the gestation period and fetal development for this story, just to make sure I got some facts right. This is the first chapter where the fruits of said research can be seen. Right now, baby Harry is smaller than a kidney bean. Ha, ha. In later chapters, I manage to work in different remedies for Morning Sickness, which unfortunately lasts for up to three months while the estrogen is rising. Anyway, just a wee bit proud of my research. I'm rather anal about those kinds of things, because I come from a family primarily made up of doctors and nurses. I really enjoyed coming up with the Magical Sonogram. Did anyone catch on to the fact that the little blue ball is the same substance that Moody's eye will be made out of? I hope you enjoyed it**


	4. London Calling

**A/N: This chapter is a bit slow, however, I must warn you that is contains foul language, sexual inuendo and situations, alcohol use, and references to drugs. Welcome, in other words, to the Seventie's British Punk scene. It's a shout out to my favorite actor, actually, so look for that. Besides, I thought it would be entertaining to see Sirius as a punk The chapter title is not mine; it's a song by The Clash. Enjoy**

It was a bad week for Lily and James. They slept back to back in bed. Lily wore her own pajamas as opposed to James' shirts. One night, James got out of bed to help Lily with her Morning Sickness (which incidentally, the Healer informed them, can strike at any point during the day or night) only to find that she had taken to pulling her hair back in an elastic hair band. She was showing him that she didn't need him. James was stung, but utterly convinced he was right. Lily was still furious. She did not need to be protected. She was having a child; she wasn't one.

Things began to look up for the couple on Tuesday, when Frank and Alice returned from James' and Lily's mission and announced that they, too, were having a baby. Congratulations were given. Lily got to gush all her fears and hopes to Alice, who was about five years older, and Alice got to do the same. James also got to voice his concerns for Lily's safety to a sympathetic ear. Speaking to the older couple helped alleviate the pressure and tension Lily and James were feeling. That night, Lily slept in James' shirt, and James got to kiss her goodnight.

Wednesday, however, came and destroyed the previous night's repairs. Dumbledore called Lily and James in for a special meeting. After they were all situated somewhat comfortably around the kitchen table, he began. "As you are well aware, James will be starting his new assignment with Sirius this Friday." James nodded. Lily began to bite her lip. "As for you, Lily," Dumbledore addressed benignly. Lily looked up at him, a glimmer of hope in her eye. Could this be a job? "I would like you to go stay with your family while James is away."

Lily blanched. James squeezed her hand. Dumbledore continued, "It's for your own protection. Besides, I'm sure your parents would love to see you as it's the holiday season. And you can tell them about their grandchild in person." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"Sir," Lily managed to stammer, "my parents are on a cruise in South America right now."

"Oh dear. Well, what about your sister?"

Lily looked as though she was going to throw up, and, being pregnant, that was all too likely. James gave her hand another squeeze. Lily squeezed back so hard it was painful. James winced. "My sister hates me," Lily breathed to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore looked down at Lily sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Lily, but it really is the safest place for you." He rose slowly from his chair and squeezed Lily's shoulder on the way out of the kitchen. Lily felt as if she was back in school.

As soon as Dumbledore was gone, Lily jumped up. "You," she rounded on James, "this is all your fault "

"Be fair, Lily," James reasoned, and then added lightly, "it takes two to tango, after all."

iMistake. Big mistake./i

Lily shrieked. James jumped and shook his head.

* * *

James shook his head as he stared out the window of Sirius' flat. He was feeling both miserable and apprehensive. Miserable, because he had left a depressed Lily with the Dursley's that afternoon. Apprehensive, because he had never worked an operation without her before. Of course, he was also excited to be working with Sirius.

For the past few months, Sirius had been working undercover in Muggle Relations. It was all classified, but James understood him to be some kind of recruiter with a string of Muggle informants. Four years of Muggle Studies and a love for the seedy underbelly of life had prepared Sirius well for this assignment. James also understood that his mission involved two groups: Anarchists and Fascists. James, however, had very little knowledge about either.

Sirius came out of his bedroom dressed for the mission. James stared. Sirius had done something to his hair to make it look like spikes. He was wearing a leather jacket covered in studs, and on the back was a red circle with an "A" in it. A tight fitting and well-worn t-shirt covered his torso, while his long legs were encased in jeans, covered in patches and looking far too tight for comfort. To complete the look Sirius wore his black leather boots and a studded dog collar. James couldn't help but laugh at the dog collar.

"Interesting look, Padfoot," James teased.

"Well, Prongs, you can't go undercover looking like that," Sirius retorted.

"Excuse me. I happen to be rather adept at dressing like a Muggle, considering I do so all the time," James defended himself.

"Yeah, a Muggle bank teller. They'd kick your arse if I let you go into the club like that."

"I don't have to dress like you, do I?" James whined.

"Nah. You'd never pass as a punk," was Sirius' response as he circled James.

Waving away the strange term "punk", James asked, "then what am I going to be?"

"You are going to be a rude boy."

* * *

"I feel ridiculous," James moaned an hour and a half later as he sat at a table with Sirius. Though much less odd an outfit as Sirius', James still felt like a fool in pleated wool pants, checked suspenders, and bright red dress shirt that he wore with the sleeves rolled up and over a long sleeved thermal shirt with holes in it for his thumbs. His hair was even messier than usual due to a substance that Sirius called gel. Sirius just looked at him and slid across a bottle of beer. "I can't hear myself think, either. What is this noise?"

"It's called Punk rock," Sirius answered. "Just wait. It's going to take the Wizarding world by storm one day." Sirius sounded enthused.

"Don't tell me you like this sh-" James was cut off by the arrival of a very drunk young man.

The young punk clapped Sirius on the shoulder and shouted into his ear, "Oy, Sid " The punk shook Sirius a little, who simply frowned. "Sid, I thought you were dead." Sirius turned his face towards the punk. The young man blinked and looked at Sirius. "Ah, piss it," he moaned and tossed his empty beer bottle at a wall. "You're not Sid."

"Course not," Sirius responded.

"Look like him, though. Who are you then?" he slurred.

"Pete," Sirius replied without hesitation as James tried to hide his surprise.

The punk nodded. " Oo's he?" he asked as he openly pointed at James.

"That's Jimmy," Sirius nodded. James tried not choke on his beer. No one ever in his life had referred to him as Jimmy. James had a vague impression that Sirius had greatly enjoyed picking James' code name.

"You a rude boy, then?" the punk asked.

"Yeah," James replied, glad to actually know the answer.

"All right, then," the punk approved before turning back to Sirius, "shame 'bout Sid. Shame 'bout the Sex Pistols." The punk then stalked off.

James raised his eyebrows at Sirius. "Sid?"

"Vicious. Sid Vicious. That," Sirius said, gesturing to the punk, "happens a lot."

James just looked more confused. "Sid Vicious? He's not a Death Eater, is he?"

Sirius laughed. "Oh, Merlin, no. Sid Vicious was the bass player for the Sex Pistols." Seeing James' continued confusion, he added, "they were a punk band."

"And people say you look like him?" James queried.

Sirius shrugged. "If I lost 30 pounds and got really sick. By the time he died earlier this year, he looked as if he'd spent a decade in Azkaban."

"What'd he die of?"

"Smack overdose," Sirius said distractedly.

"Excuse me?" James asked flabbergasted as it sounded as if this man were beaten to death.

"Smack, er, heroin- it's a poison that some Muggles take willingly," Sirius tried to explain.

James looked disbelieving that anybody would take poison willingly. "Is this what they teach you in Muggle Studies?" he asked after awhile.

"Seventh year-independent study," Sirius replied.

James fell silent again. He felt out of place here. It wasn't just because he was a Wizard, after all, Sirius was at perfect ease. It was that everybody here seemed so . . . irresponsible. He was married, for Merlin's sake. James felt his face heat up with guilt at the thought of the wedding band stowed safely away in Sirius' flat. "Everyone here seems so young," he shouted over the music.

Sirius shrugged again. "Most of them are our age."

"Your joking "

Sirius shook his head in confirmation of his earlier statement.

"No one here seems to care about anything," James remarked, his eyes straying cautiously to the couples lined up against the walls, some of them openly shagging. James could feel a blush creep into his face again at their indiscretion. He and Lily had waited ages to have sex.

Following James' gaze, Sirius also flicked his eyes toward the wall before settling his stormy grey eyes back on his friend. "Not everybody gets married at eighteen, mate," he pointed out cooly.

James blanched, and Sirius immediately felt sorry about his remark.

"Look, they're not fighting a war, remember? And besides, they're Anarchists," Sirius ended with a snort. "To care about anything, or act like they did, would go against their mantra." James nodded and fell silent. He kept his eyes averted from the wall to the best of his ability.

After a few minutes, Sirius spotted something that made him freeze like his labrador counterpart. James swivelled around slowly in his chair. All he saw was a girl making eyes at Sirius. Nothing unusual. No wonder Sirius looked as if he had spotted prey, James thought. Then . . .

"Watch," Sirius whispered as he left the table. James followed his every step with his eyes until he felt them widen out of shock.

Sirius had the girl up against the wall amidst all the other couples, his face buried in her neck. One of his arms was leaning casually against the wall above the girl's head, while the other was slipping over the girl's backside and into her pocket. James had no earthly idea why Sirius had told him to watch him grope this bird. A few moments later, they broke apart, and Sirius came back to the table. He threw a square of parchment down in the middle. James picked it up and read it. His face went from its former look of disgust to surprise to smirking in the matter of a second.

James looked up grinning and inquired, "Did they teach you that in Muggle Studies, too?"

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "I learned those skills skiving off Muggle Studies, Jimmy."

James winced through his smile at the detested code name. "So when you had your face buried in her neck, you weren't snogging her?" he mused out loud.

"Not the whole time."

James laughed, then frowned. "Siri-Pete," he said leaning in, "I'm married." Worry filled James' eyes at what he may be asked to do on this mission.


	5. Stuck in Surrey

Two pregnant women in one house was one too many pregnant women. Two pregnant sisters who didn't get along with each other in one house was a nightmare.

Lily didn't know Petunia was pregnant. Petunia never bothered to tell Lily anything.

Petunia did not know Lily was pregnant, as Petunia did not care to know anything at all about her sister's life. She hated Lily. Every time they spoke to each other, Petunia hoped that they would never speak again.

But there she was. Lily and her husband were on their doorstep saying that they were having a baby, that James was going away on business, and may Lily please stay here while he's away? Petunia glowered. The last thing she wanted while she was pregnant was her sister in her house. No, Lily would have to go. But then Lily handed Petunia a letter written in narrow, slanted handwriting.

While Petunia read the letter that Dumbledore had written on the Potters' behalf, James and Lily were accosted by Petunia's beefy husband, Vernon. Being anywhere near Vernon Dursley always put James into a temper, and having to endure the man's conversation only magnified his annoyance. Of course, Vernon only thought the same about James.

"Married, having a baby, and you don't even have a house, eh?" Vernon grunted.

James was about to go on a long tirade about how he had inherited a rather large two story house with finished attic and extensive grounds, which had all been in his family for generations, when Lily laid a gentle hand on his knee. The couple's current state of animosity had been temporarily forgotten as soon as they had arrived in Surrey. Lily knew that if she had to stay here is was probably best not to mention Potter Park. James understood her gesture and endured Vernon's jabs in silence.

"What kind of job doesn't even pay you enough to afford a decent home for your family?"

James sighed. True, working for the Order didn't provide you with a check to take home every week, but James felt that it offered much richer rewards, like ridding the world of evil and such. But James could afford such noble causes seeing as how he not only inherited Potter Park, but the Potter fortune as well. However, James didn't even bother to open his mouth to argue only to have to close it again. Instead, he smiled weakly.

Petunia looked up from the letter looking scared and anxious. But the letter had done his job well, and she announced, with feigned determination in her voice, "Lily can stay."

And now, Lily was stuck. Locked, actually. Locked in the upstairs bathroom, lying on the tiled floor, and reading a Muggle magazine. The cool tile felt good on the soles of her feet, which for some reason had felt like they were on fire all day. Her private time was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. That was her cue to clear out of the bathroom as Vernon would be wanting his customary shower and shave before dinner. Lily grabbed the pillow she had propped against the tub, stuck it under her arm, and padded across the hall to the smallest bedroom. The Dursley's had a larger guestroom, but the space was being reserved for Vernon's sister, Marge, who would be spending Christmas on Privet Drive.

As soon as Lily left the bathroom she felt terrible again. Her head began to swim, so she closed her eyes until it passed. Being at 4 Privet Drive seemed to worsen Lily's Morning Sickness. Her nausea was increased tenfold, sometimes she felt dizzy, but mostly she was trapped somewhere between wanting to cry and wanting to shout. She had the sneaking suspicion that it wasn't just her hormones getting to her. She was so worried about James and what could happen to him undercover, that, even if she weren't pregnant, she'd be sick over it. Added to that was a heavy feeling of guilt. She hadn't told him that she loved him when he left her sister's, blaming him for her misfortune. And if he died . . . well, she wouldn't be able to live with herself. The bathroom was the only place in the house where Lily felt at peace.

Another wave of nausea took Lily as she heard Vernon enter the corridor. His pheromones, his scent repulsed her, and she had to get away. Quickly vacating the room, she hurried downstairs to see if she could help Petunia with the dinner. Well, Vernon's dinner actually. Turns out Petunia suffered from serious Morning Sickness, too.

When Lily reached the kitchen she again felt as though she needed to vomit. She swayed and clutched the counter. Petunia shot her a disgusted look and pushed a package of saltines across the counter. "Take those before you vomit all over my clean counters," Petunia directed Lily, and then mumbled something about how Lily was not able to take care of herself.

Lily took a saltine and sucked on it. To her surprise, in a few moments, the nausea left. "Thanks," Lily said truly grateful. That was the closest thing to a sisterly act Petunia had ever done.

That was also the closest thing to a sisterly act that Petunia came close to doing all week. Lily endured three days of being locked in the house with the Dursley's, enduring their insults, their jabs, and their indifference. She preferred the indifference. She had never felt so horrible before. Each passing day made it harder to keep back the tears that threatened her eyes. And there was no word from James. Her rational side knew that he couldn't write to her, because it would put both of them in danger. But that other part of her . . . Lily was lonely. She fantasized that James would suddenly show up and sweep her off in the safety of his arms. As Christmas drew nearer, the thought of spending the holiday without him grew unbearable.

The day before Christmas Eve, Petunia had some shopping to do after her appointment with her obstetrician. Lily was invited along for the ride, and she jumped at the chance, sick and tired of being shut up in the house. As she carefully examined a diagram on fetal development that hung on the wall in the doctor's office, she felt someone eyes on her. She looked up to see a handsome man in his thirties speaking to the receptionist, but looking at her. She smiled awkwardly and looked away quickly. The next thing she knew, the man was standing beside her, a leather messenger bag slung over his shoulder and clutching a white lab coat. "Hullo," he greeted.

"Hello," Lily returned, startled.

" Sorry, if I scared you," he apologized before continuing, "It's just that you seemed so intent on this diagram, I wondered if you weren't interested in starting a family of your own some day, Miss-"

"Mrs. Potter, uh, Lily," she responded, careful to get her point across. She didn't like how he leaned into her, or that insinuating tone in his voice when he asked her about starting a family. In fact, it reminded her of the antics James used to employ to grab her attention at Hogwarts. "And I am," she added, just in case, and she rubbed her hand over her stomach with her left hand. There was no way that the doc could miss the rock on her ring finger.

"Congratulations," he said, sounding flattened. Then he skulked off, leaving her to her examination of the diagram.

An hour later, Lily found herself in a busy Muggle supermarket. All the people were making her nervous. And the racket was driving her crazy, but Petunia's list went on forever, and forever. Lily tried to content herself with looking at the shelves, and musing over the different food items. She had been in plenty of supermarkets before, but not for many years. Wizards bought their food in small markets, grew it themselves, or conjured it. And, in any case, she hadn't done that for the year she'd been living at headquarters. To Lily, supermarkets were a new experience, but she knew she'd preferred the Wizarding way.

In fact, Lily preferred to do everything the Wizarding way.

_ I just don't belong here._

**A/N: Not a very interesting chapter, but necessary. I'm not too pleased with it; it was very tough to write. **


	6. The Brothers Black

A/N: In this chapter there is violence and foul language. Also, there is smoking of cigarettes. Gross, I know, but hey. Enjoy!

Sirius handed James the Evening Prophet with a grin on his face. James tore his eyes away from the snowy window, and looked down. He, too, grinned; it was the first smile he had worn all day. It was Christmas Eve, and he missed Lily. It seemed wrong to be away from her on a holiday. But he couldn't help smiling at the headline of the Prophet:

**Five Death Eaters Apprehended At Muggle Stadium**

_Officials arrest five Death Eaters bent on causing mayhem at a Muggle football match this afternoon. Though names and exact calculations of how much damage was spared, it is obvious that many lives were spared this evening. Apparently, officials were waiting at the stadium for the suspects this afternoon . . ._

The story went on, but James didn't bother to read it. He knew how the 'officials', or Aurors working for the Order, got wind of the Death Eaters' plan. That was the information Sirius retrieved from the girl that first night in the club. It was good to see it being put to use.

James was finding himself more at ease at the punk clubs everyday, though he still never enjoyed it with the enthusiasm of Sirius. James found the work rather satisfactory, especially when he found out he wouldn't be asked to be unfaithful to Lily. Sirius had laughed at James' worries about his being married that first night. "They're not all girls," he had guffawed. And with that, they quickly fell into routine. When contacts and informants were male, James got to participate in the information exchange. Sirius dealt with the females. Once, James had been asked to flirt with an informant's friends for a few minutes to keep them distracted, but other than that James was completely faithful. They weren't always collecting information on Death Eater movements or likely targets for causing Muggle terror, but recruiting as well. They held private meetings in dark corners, tying to convince a select few that they were indeed Wizards, that they could do magic (at this point, James had great fun turning beer bottles into pineapples or cigarettes into tapered candles), and, unfortunately, a war was ripping the magical community to shreds. "This war," they would emphasize, "will eventually rip your world to shreds. Not into anarchy either, but into a dictatorship." They would add, dramatically, "You would all be slaves or dead or worse." That usually did the trick.

"Ready to go, Prongs?"

"Yeah," James said and grabbed the denim jacket that he wore on duty. Unfortunately, punks and rude boys weren't keen on warm clothing.

Sirius reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes. He offered one to James who took it. He hated the smoking, and Lily would probably throw a fit if she knew. However, it would look very odd if he wasn't either drinking or smoking. James tossed the match he used to light the cigarette carelessly on the table after putting it out. It was the same table that they had sat at the first night he was working with Sirius. They were also waiting for the same girl.

James tried not to choke on the drag he just took. When his eyes had stopped watering, James saw Sirius had found his target and was sitting frozen. "Tell her thanks for me, will ya, about the tip," James whispered and winked as Sirius stood.

Once Sirius had passed out of sight, James turned his gaze to the packed room. It was his job to be lookout, just in case some uninvited visitors turned up. He was just beginning to zone out when he heard a familiar voice. "Oy, Sid! Sid is that you?" James turned amused in the direction of the voice, where he saw the same drunk young man from before accosting another black haired man. The man obviously figured out that he was being addressed, and turned around to glower at the young punk. James froze. He sat there a second transfixed, before puffing out on his cigarette.

The cigarette dangling limply in Sirius' hand flared suddenly. Sirius jumped and turned around. His eyes flashed to James sitting at the table, staring off into the room. Sirius looked in the direction of James' gaze. Grey eyes met grey eyes. Regulus Black looked back at him. Sirius turned around quickly to the girl, who was crying suddenly. "Sorry," she whimpered.

_Stupid girl,_ Sirius thought furiously as he pushed his way through the crowd towards the back exit, knowing that James was a few steps behind him.

When the duo finally reached the fresh air of the alley, they were met by a highly unpleasant group of people. "Oh fuck," James heard Sirius mutter._ It is a bad situation_, James thought, _But I've managed to escape Voldemort three times, surely Regulus Black and 1 . . .2 . . .3 . . .4 . . .5 . . .6. . .oh fuck._

Sirius and Regulus seemed frozen, each brother sizing the other up. The both looked remarkably like each other. They had the same dark hair, were roughly the same height, and were the same build. But Regulus' eyes were like steel, cold and hard. Sirius had eyes like storm clouds, infinitely layered with light breaking through at unexpected moments. The brothers Black did look alike. Regulus was just narrower-narrower body, narrower face, narrower mind.

"Hello, brother," Regulus sneered.

Sirius countered with the same comeback he used in every situation like this, and every time he did, James felt heartened. "My brother stands beside me, Regulus," he spat.

"Fine. Not that I enjoy calling you my blood anyway," Regulus snapped back, losing his finely tuned nonchalance.

It was very painful to encounter your brother in a war, fighting for the opposite side. Sirius had doted on Regulus in their childhood, and Regulus had admired his affectionate elder brother. Their parents, however, did not care for affection. At night, Mr. and Mrs. Black would scream and yell at each other, but not one of them would back out of their marriage. It would be bad for appearances. On those nights, Regulus would sneak into Sirius' bedroom and fall asleep listening to the funny stories Sirius would tell to cover the racket. On other occasions, Mrs. Black would scream, hit, and throw things at Sirius, because Sirius was not afraid of her. Because Sirius' open heart wouldn't let his mind fully close around her pureblood teachings, especially after he was sorted into Gryffindor. Yes, Regulus had loved his brother, but had feared his parents more. And, now, the brothers Black had come to another pass.

Then it began. Sirius and Regulus were dueling, leaving James to deal with six Muggle Fascists, with shaved heads and steel-toed boots. James managed to Stun three before two Death Eaters apparated into the alleyway. One of them disapparated almost instantly, while the other began to Ennervate the fallen Fascists. Occasionally, he would throw a spell at James, who would dodge it easily. Once again, James found himself facing six Fascists. He knew that if he stunned them again that the Death Eater would wake them up. He would just keep throwing the Muggles into the fray, like cannon fodder. James had to take out the Death Eater first.

The third Death Eater, that had appeared and then disappeared, was heading around the corner, three more Fascists in tow. Sirius took a moment to take him out with a well-placed Stun to the chest, since James was busy fighting off six others to get at another Death Eater. Sirius turned back to Regulus, only to find Regulus' wand pointed directly at his chest. A flicker of fear flashed in the stormy eyes, like lightening. It was followed up with the slightest flicker of hurt, before Sirius' eyes settled fully on hatred. And while Bellatrix would have pounced on Sirius during his whirlwind of emotion, Regulus froze. He remembered the love that used to be in those eyes, the same love that was now reserved for Potter.

Meanwhile, James had beaten back the Muggles, and thoroughly incapacitated the Death Eater with a series of hexes. But the six were coming on again, and James began to deal with them.

The other three Fascists were waiting for word from Regulus to attack. "Goodbye, brother," Regulus hissed as he stepped back from Sirius. As he did so, his eyes flickered towards James, and Sirius followed the gaze. A wicked smile played across Regulus' face as he leveled his wand at fighting James. "Avada-" Regulus began, but never finished. Sirius yelled out for James to move while he hurtled himself at Regulus. Regulus was shoved to the ground, but was saved from Sirius' wrath by the three waiting Fascists, who pummeled Sirius. Sirius was knocked painfully to the side, and his wand rolled twenty feet away.

Regulus did the only thing he could think of after Sirius had lunged at him: Walk away and leave it to the Muggles. He was torn between gloating over the fact that his brother's weakness was his heart, and the emptiness that came with knowing not one of his acquaintances would ever do for him what Sirius did for James.

James turned when he heard Sirius cry out and did move. But his distraction allowed two Fascists to ram him violently into the brick wall behind him, while another slammed his wand arm against the same wall, subsequently breaking his hand and snapping his wand. Before he could fully recover, an uppercut sent his head back into the wall. Feeling dazed, James barely felt the knee that slammed into his groin or the other punches being administered to his body. His thoughts turned to Lily as he involuntarily slid down the wall.

_My Lily, my beautiful wife. Merlin, how I love her. Forgive me . . ._

Flashes of memories played through his head like a home movie as he was repeatedly kicked in the ribs. Full moons at school. Laughing over a prank with the Marauders. His parents proud and smiling faces. Lily. Lily. The first time he saw her and knew she was the one. Their first kiss, so many years later. Their wedding. The first time they made love. Lily in the sun, in the rain. Lily telling him she was pregnant. His child. The child he would never get to see.

_Forgive me, Lily._

Sirius had gotten the better of one Fascist and knocked him out. However, there were still two more advancing and three on James. He knew he could not hold out forever. A well-aimed punch the side of his head sent Sirius to the ground. He tried, but he could not get up. He saw James lying curled in the fetal position against the wall, unconscious but breathing. Sirius knew he had to get to James, but, still disoriented from the blow, he could not stand. Sirius did what his body was aching for him to do and slumped to the pavement.

The Fascists seemed to think that this was good enough and left the duo beaten on the ground.

**A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters in the story. I hope you like it. Historyr Factoid: During the seventies neo-nazis, or fascists, and punks were kicking the crap out of each other all the time.**


	7. Something Wrong

Lily's feeling of isolation, that had been slowly eating away at her all week, increased rapidly that evening, coinciding with the arrival of Vernon's sister, Marge. The woman was hideous, inside and out, big and beefy like her brother. And she brought her dog with her. Ripper, how lovely, Lily thought sarcastically. The smell of the dog made Lily almost as nauseous as the smell of Marge, and she could tell Petunia was feeling the same way. Both of them were furiously sucking on crackers all night. Unfortunately, Lily also knew that Petunia would kick her out of the house before she asked that Ripper be put outside, no matter if the smell made her puke out her guts. After that thought, Lily couldn't eat anymore. Instead, she sat near tears for the duration of Marge's snide comments and rude insinuations that James was a cheating drunk, who was at this moment paying a Piccadilly tart for some fun. Lily wondered if Marge had read that in a book somewhere, before she wondered if Marge could actually read. However, the sad truth is that no matter how hard you try to shut someone out, a night of insults will eventually get to you. Lily's body was shaking with bottled anger as she stared determinedly at the fire. Suddenly, the fire blazed dangerously out if its home for a moment, scorching the mantle piece and some of the floor. Petunia screamed. Vernon shouted, and Marge broke her brandy glass. Lily jumped up from her chair, and the lights flickered. She ran up to the smallest bedroom and slammed the door behind her, before she accidentally crushed Marge's windpipe. She sat down on the bed, but sprang up again the next second. She began to pace the room and hastily shove saltines into her mouth.

I have to get out of this house. I need to feel like I belong. I belong in the Wizarding world. Despite the war, that's my home. My friends are part of the Wizarding world. James is part of the Wizarding world . . . Lily clapped a hand to her stomach, as it curled tightly into knots. Another wave of nausea hit her. She swayed a little, and then it passed.

That's the pattern in which Lily's evening fell into. By one am, she had worked herself into a frenzy. One am, Christmas Eve, that's when the loneliness overpowered her.

Tears rolled freely down her cheeks as she feverishly packed all her belongings into her bag. Every once and a while, a sob would escape her. But she knew what she needed to do.

She needed to leave.

Down in the kitchen, she scribbled a short note of explanation to Petunia and threw all the Muggle money she had down on the counter. Pulling out a paper shopping bag from under the sink, she stuffed it full of saltines, frosted mini-wheats, a can of cubed pineapple, dill pickles, chicken broth, baby carrots, supplies for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and sparkling cider. All her favorites.

She had to get back to her world.

By one thirty, Lily was standing on the sidewalk of Privet Dr. feeling both anguished and alive. She was taking deep calming breaths, forcing air into her lungs and trying to steady herself. It wasn't working to well, however. She knew that she could quickly apparate to headquarters, but she figured she'd splinch herself in her current state of emotional bedlam. Thinking warily of her Morning Sickness, but having no other alternative that she could think of, she threw out her wand arm. With a loud bang, the Knight Bus, a purple triple-decker, appeared. At the first sign of magic, Lily all at once felt more relaxed.

When the bus dropped her off in a small town up North, Lily had to dart behind a bush to throw-up. Pregnancy and the Knight Bus, she learned the hard way, do not mix well. When her stomach was back in place, she walked the half a mile to headquarters. The old stone farmhouse and mill popped magically into place, rudely pushing aside a herd of sleeping sheep. Lily dropped her bags in the foyer, automatically feeling at home. Despite the early dawn, a tousled hair and bleary eyed Remus Lupin appeared at the bottom of the staircase in an open dressing gown, t-shirt, and underwear, obviously thinking he was alone. He was headed towards the kitchen and failed to notice Lily watching him. "Nice briefs," she called down the corridor her voice echoing a little. Lupin spun around so quickly, Lily thought he must have broke his neck. Lily burst out laughing.

They ate breakfast together in silence, Lupin holding back his questions for later. Lily volunteered no information. Then she trudged upstairs to her and James' bedroom, and fell into the bed, which seemed so much bigger with no James. She woke up that evening only to eat and endure the stairs of other Order members, before falling back into sleep.

She woke up suddenly Christmas morning, and sat upright quickly. She breathed heavily for a moment, before feeling queasy and trotting off to the bathroom. She couldn't remember if a nightmare had caused her to pull awake so abruptly, or if it was something else. But she had a feeling that something wasn't right.

Lily headed downstairs to the kitchen, where she made herself a PB&J sandwich, and grabbed the bottle of sparkling cider, which she had put a Refilling Charm on. She grabbed a pickle for good measure. She ate slowly and stared off into space, until a small package landed on the table in front of her. She looked up and saw Remus gazing concernedly at her. He smiled at her, and, feeling his friendship, she smiled back. "Ginger candies," he spoke gently, pointing at the package in front of her as he took a seat. "My mum swears by them. Apparently, she had really terrible Morning Sickness, too." He looked slightly amused at the thought, as if it were a private joke.

"Thank you, Remus," Lily smiled again, fingering the package.

He stood up and made himself a cup of tea. As he did so, he said, "I'm going to visit her today being Christmas and what not, and I was wondering if you'd like to join us? She'd love to have you."

"er, maybe . . . let me think about it," she replied, not wanting to explain how she was secretly hoping that James would suddenly arrive. Remus, however, seemed to understand this and did not press her. He sat back down kitty corner from her, and began to watch her intently, as Remus was prone to do. Lily knew what he was doing, because she did it, too. Whenever they spent time together, they liked to people watch and share their thoughts about their victims. Lily's were usually cynical and skeptical, and Remus' were always slightly optimistic. The conversations that erupted from people watching were always very funny. And now, Lily knew, Remus was watching her. She cast him a side long glance.

Finally, he asked what she knew he had been dying to ask since she arrived, "What are doing here, Lily?"

There was no use lying. "I was falling to pieces at my sister's. It's not easy being in a house where everybody hates you for something that's really beyond your control," she explained bitterly, then realized who she said it to, and added softly, "you'll understand that, Remus."

"Mmm," was his response, and, for a second, Lily thought he was upset with her. But then she looked at him to see that he was simply watching her again. She felt slightly nervous. She hadn't lied, but she hadn't told him the whole truth either. She knew it, and she had the distinct impression that Remus knew it, too. "What's really bothering you, Lily?" he asked abruptly.

"James," she heard herself answer, before realizing it. She shot Remus a weak smile. He was waiting patiently for her to continue, knowing she would. Lily tried to decide what about James that was bothering her to address first, when she felt a sudden flare up of anger. "Maybe I'm operating under a delusion, but I believed that as a married couple we were supposed to make our decisions together " she burst.

Remus looked thoughtful. "I think he was trying to protect you," he leveled with her.

Lily grimaced. "I understand that, but I've never liked being protected."

Remus smiled for an instant at the happy memories of school, before falling silent and sober again. "I agree with you," he consented after a while, "James should have discussed your mission status with you before he had Dumbledore switch assignments. And you, Lily my dear, need to tell him this when he gets back."

Lily looked dubious. "I assure you, it won't go over that smooth with him."

"Never said it would," Remus conceded, and gave her another sidelong glance. "That's not all, Lily," he perceived out loud.

Lily shook her head, before beginning slowly, "I miss him. I'm worrying myself sick about what could happen to him. I mean, I know we've been in a lot of terrible situations, but we've always dealt with them together. And now he's off, doing who knows what. And I didn't even tell him I loved him before he left. And now-now I feel so guilty. I just can't wait for him to come home just so I can tell him that I love him, and . . .and . . .," Lily trailed away finally losing the steam she had gained while blabbering.

Lupin reached out and put a hand gently on her shoulder. To her surprise, Lily was beginning to feel much better. Then, the kitchen door flew open with a bang, and Edgar Bones strode in. He spotted Lily and Remus at the table. They were staring at him, clearly worried. He took one deep breath. "Lily, Dumbledore would like a word with you in his office at Hogwarts," he rattled and added, "_now_. Lupin, you'd better come, too."

"Why? What's wrong," Lily demanded, wondering if her worst fears were being realized. Wondering if she was just dreaming that her worst fears were being realized. She pinched herself while Edgar considered her a moment. It hurt; this was real.

"Lily," Edgar said slowly, "it's James. Something went wrong."

Lily wished she'd remained sitting when Edgar burst into the room as she felt her knees go weak under her. She heard the clatter of chairs being knocked over, and in the next moment she felt the soft fabric of Remus' shirt as he caught her before it all went black.


	8. The Return of Padfoot and Prongs

James felt his body being dragged across the pavement. He felt the shooting pain that accompanied it. He groaned. The dragging stopped abruptly. He heard someone trying to talk to him, and he heard the concern in the familiar voice. James heard their labored breathing, or his labored breathing, or maybe both. He heard the wince in the other man's voice. So it was their labored breathing. He tried to take a deep breath. Sharp pain enveloped chest, and the blackness he saw had a tinge of redness to it now. And it was his labored breathing as well. James wanted to open his eyes, but he couldn't. And he wanted to speak, but he couldn't. His body told him that he just didn't have the strength to do either. James felt him self slip out of consciousness.

* * *

Lily clutched her mug of tea, so hard her knuckles turned white. And she kept that up for hours. She refused all of Remus' offers of new tea, rest, and food. He didn't eat much either. He didn't go visit his mother as planned. He couldn't leave Lily; they might just be all they had left. _Well, and Peter._ Remus stopped making offers, when it became clear to him that Lily, though she sat in the wooden chair next to his, wasn't even near the same vicinity to him. She was completely wrapped up in her own head. And Remus let her be, hoping that the world in her head was happier than the world they lived in.

He fingered the cigarette in his pocket that he had bummed off one of the Prewetts. It was one of his bad habits to smoke when he was scared or worried to death. He picked it up from Sirius after one incredibly harrowing mission. Remus was dying to smoke it for the pretend calmness it brought, but he would also die before leaving Lily. And not even Sirius, who smoked on a regular basis, would smoke in front of Lily Evans Potter, especially a pregnant Lily Evans Potter. The thought of Lily's baby being born without a father, without James, made Remus' hand start shaking again. His thoughts went back to the cigarette in his pocket, but that made him think of Sirius. He made an indistinct noise caught somewhere between emotional pain and annoyance, and he, too, clutched his mug of tea to steady his hands.

* * *

The sound was deafening, an earsplitting whirring noise that pounded painfully in his aching, oversensitive head. Lily had called this noise something; it meant something. _Help? _Is that what she said it meant. Greek myths swam through his head for some reason, trying to recall something to the forefront of his mind. _Sirens?_ He queried the void in his head, as his mind stopped on a picture of beautiful, singing women laying leisurely on a rock in the middle of the sea. James opened his eyes blearily, to make sure he was still on solid ground. There were people standing over him, touching him. _Caring for him?_

_

* * *

_

"Come on, Lily, you've been down here for over twenty-four hours. You need to sleep," Remus coaxed from his place at the kitchen table. Lily turned to look at him, not really registering what he said but recognizing his presence, which was a start. He stood behind Lily and hoisted her up from her armpits. She stood shakily and almost fell. Then, she did the last thing in the world Remus expected her to do—speak.

"I'm sorry, my leg is asleep."

Remus smiled. "Quite all right, my dear." Remus helped Lily up the stairs, down the hallway, and to the door of the bedroom she shared with James. Lily stopped suddenly, and shook her head violently, as if some terrible monster were in there waiting for her. In a sense there was, the terrible monster of memory that can only be strengthened by the pictures on the nightstand, and the lingering smell of James on the sheets. Lily looked up at Remus appealingly, but he just smiled and reassured, "You're going to be ok. You just need some rest." And Lily tried to believe him.

She walked into the bedroom and stood there for a moment unsure. She knew Remus was still watching her from the doorway, so she called, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he echoed, and Lily heard his footsteps die away.

Lily walked over to the bureau and opened the bottom drawer. She pulled out one of James' old sweaters and hugged it to her chest before pulling it over her head. Opening another drawer, she pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms. She stepped out of the skirt she'd been wearing and into the comfort that flannel brought to her. Lily turned to face the bed. Taking a deep steadying breath, she walked towards it. A few tentative steps later, she paused. _Don't be stupid_, Lily scolded herself. She slid into the unmade bed, and lay down. No sooner had her head hit the pillow that she felt her heart break into a million pieces. She jumped up. And ran out the door.

Remus leaned against the open window, finally smoking that cigarette. He jumped when there was a loud knock on his bedroom door and Lily's frantic voice called out to him. He immediately put the cigarette out in the ashtray he had conjured, and waved his wand to freshen the room. After closing the window, he went to answer the door.

Lily was a mess. Her breathing was shaky and rapid. Tears streamed down her face. The sweater she wore went down to her thighs. She threw herself into his arms, and he closed the door with his foot. "I can't stay in there, I can't stay in there," she sobbed into his chest.

"All right, all right," he whispered, trying his best to comfort her. She was practically hysterical.

Lily pulled away from him after a few minutes. "What if he's dead, and I'm all alone. I'll be a widow. I'll have a baby. I'll be all alone."

"Hey," Remus said forcibly, "you will never be all alone. We're in this together." Lily stared at him and then smiled through her tears. "Now, lets sit down and talk about this." He motioned for her to sit on the bed, while he turned to occupy the armchair by the window. When he settled himself, he felt a great deal of weight accost him as Lily sat in his lap. She curled herself into a ball, pulling her legs into the sweater. She placed her hands on his shoulders, and sobbed and talked into his chest. Remus, after recovering from the shock, rubbed her back in soothing circles.

* * *

James felt oddly heavy when he woke up. There were beeping noises around him, and looking down he found that there was a thin tube coming out of his wrist. Following it, he saw that it was connected to a machine. And then he saw, Sirius, sleeping in a chair beside his bed. He was wearing a set of clothes that resembled pajamas, and were made out of thin cloth. He, too, had a tube coming out of his wrist but his machine was on something that rolled. Sirius, he noticed, was healing nicely from the beating he had taken, and the bruises on his face were starting to disappear. "Hey, you prat," James called hoarsely.

Sirius looked up instantly, and grinned broadly when he saw that James was awake. "'Bout time you open your eyes, lazy bum."

James smiled, too. "How long have I been out?"

"Two, maybe three days."

"And Lily?" he asked worriedly, wondering is she was there, sitting up with Sirius. Maybe she'd gone downstairs to get a cup of tea, or something.

"This is a Muggle hospital, mate. No one knows were here. They just know were gone." Sirius explained darkly. James was so horrified he tried to sit up. "Hey, hey," Sirius comforted, and pushed him back down against the pillows.

"But Lily," he sputtered past the pain that he had caused himself trying to sit up, "she'll be worried sick. Can't you contact someone?"

"No wand," Sirius said. "But the doctor's say that you can go home as soon as you wake up, and they run a few tests."

James tried to let that reassurance relax him as he sank into the pillows.

* * *

Morning dawned cold and bright through the open curtains in Remus' room. He felt stiff and sore, and found that he couldn't move. Looking down, he found that was because Lily had fallen asleep in his lap. He leaned back against the armchair, wondering if he could move Lily to the bed without waking her, when she mumbled, "My feet are cold." Remus looked down and saw two sleepy emeralds looking back at him.

"I'll get you some socks," he smiled, and extracted himself out from under Lily. As he walked to the chest of drawers, he could hear Lily yawn and stretch in the chair behind him.

He had just pulled out a pair of thick wool socks when Lily gasped, "Remus, have you been smoking!" He rolled his eyes, but grinned broadly to know that, at least, some things never change.

* * *

James and Sirius walked into headquarters on the morning of New Year's Eve to gasps and cheers. Several people, happy to see them both alive, greeted them enthusiastically. James was feeling disgruntled, because he had let Sirius convince him to come here before Surrey. All he wanted was to see Lily. That's when she appeared at the end of the hallway, holding a dishrag. She immediately sprinted the length of the corridor, slipping slightly, as she caught sight of her husband.

James barely registered an auburn headed figure in a sweater several sizes too large coming at him, before his arms were filled with Lily as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around him, sobbing into his hair. An exhausted James backed into a side table in the hall for support. After a few uncomfortable moments for Sirius and the other Order members, Lily slid down, her hand laid lovingly on her husband's cheek as she looked up into his hazel eyes. James was just getting ready to move in for a kiss when . . .

Whack!

His cheek went numb, then began to sting painfully. People gasped. Sirius winced. Cradling his cheek, James gave his wife a questioning look.

"Never," she fumed, "leave me like that again."

James was swept by a wave of guilt as he took a good look at Lily. Her auburn hair was greasy and unbrushed, her eyes were swollen, and her face pale, except where anger made her cheeks flush. She was wearing one of his old sweaters, flannel pajama bottoms, and heavy, knitted socks, which explained why she came slipping down the hardwood floor. He guessed, and correctly, that she hadn't changed clothes for days. As she brought her hands up to brush back her hair, James noticed that she had bitten her fingernails down, and that her wedding ring looked as if it had been twisted constantly around her ring finer. His wedding ring was still at Sirius' flat. "I'm so sorry, Lily," he croaked sincerely.

Lily moved into his embrace at once, as the Order members hastily left the hall. Sirius went with Remus back into the kitchen. "I thought you were dead," she cried into his chest, "I thought you were dead, and I was a 19 year old widow with a baby on the way. I felt so alone. Felt so helpless." She clutched his shirt as she muttered. They spent several minutes in each other's embrace before Lily finally pulled away. "What are you wearing?" she asked with an odd look on her face. James laughed and tried to explain about Rude Boys and Punks as they headed upstairs.

**A/N: Sappy, I know. But I like it. Hope you did, too. Reviews are always appreciated. **


	9. The Last Mission

James' arm was strapped to the table as he talked to Dumbledore about the mission that he'd barely survived. Sirius stood next to Dumbledore, doing the same. Lily was behind him, giving him a gentle shoulder massage. And Madam Pomfrey had her wand pointed at his hand, the same hand that the Muggle doctors had set for him. The hand that they had told him would take months to heal the Muggle way. Well, James never was very patient. He winced and tried not whimper as he felt the bones in his hand break again, due to the spell that Poppy had just used on it. In the next minute, though, he felt an intense itching as the bones knitted themselves back together. She had already mended his cracked and fractured ribs, but luckily did not have to rebreak them first. But still, James would be on various potions for weeks. All other outer wounds healed nicely, and he'd only have one scar, on the side of his head that his hair covered anyway.

Dumbledore sighed and looked toward Lily and James. "I suppose this means that I'm two field operatives short, then?"

Lily and James looked at each other. They had discussed this. They had decided that they either both work in the field or not at all. And, they had come to the conclusion (against James' better judgment) that Lily could continue to work until her pregnancy physically hindered her capability. They shook their heads simultaneously at Dumbledore. "No," James responded, "We're still game."

* * *

That next week found Lily and James on duty at headquarters. This allowed them to work in the field as backup in case of emergency, though it did not throw them directly into the fray. Dumbledore did that on purpose, feeling that neither one of them was fit for a true mission yet.

James was serving a platter of pancakes with cream cheese and a can of cubed pineapple to Lily as they discussed baby names. "What about Aurora- Aurora Jo," Lily suggested from the table.

"That's pretty," James consented, "but a little dreamy isn't it?"

"Yeah," Lily said vaguely, "How 'bout Ophelia? Viola? Miranda? Katrina? Oberon?"

James looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "You've been into the Shakespeare again, haven't you?" he inferred.

Lily looked sheepish, but recovered quickly, "What do you suggest, then?"

"Bonnie if it's a girl and Edmund if it's a boy," James tossed out as he sat down next to his wife. He helped himself to some cream cheese free pancakes.

Nice as those names were, Lily wasn't too keen on her child being named after one of James' deceased parents. "Maybe as middle names," she compromised, not wanting to cause him pain with a complete shut down.

James shook his head. "No," he explained, "If it's a boy their middle name will have to be my first name, James. Family tradition."

"All right then, James Edmund Potter, anything else?"

"Sarah," he shrugged.

Lily pulled a face. "Too plain," she elaborated.

"Then I guess you won't like Harry, either," James joined during bites.

"No, no. Harry isn't bad," Lily said sitting up a little straighter, "Harry James-"

Lily was cut short as a silver rat appeared in the room. Peter, and who ever he was with, was in trouble.

* * *

James and Lily apparated onto the scene to find two dead colleagues and three stunned Death Eaters strewed throughout broken and overturned tables and chairs. Four more Death Eaters were lined up against the back wall. One of them held a very frightened Wormtail at wand point. James wondered briefly why Wormtail and the others had a mission in what appeared to be a dingy, abandoned pub, but then curses started flying and there was no more time for wondering.

The fight was fierce and fast paced, but James did not feel nearly as frightened as he did the night by the Muggle club. It could've been because he had a brand new wand, but he thought it was because he was with Lily. He dodged a Killing curse by diving behind an overturned table, and took out the Death Eater with the Full Body Bind, before stunning him. He saw Lily take out one Death Eater with a perfectly aimed stunner, before whirling around and knocking an advancing Death Eaters backwards into the wall with a Impediment Jinx. Merlin, I love her.

The only Death Eater left was the one holding Wormtail. He brandished his wand between Lily and James who were both advancing on him, wands raised. Wormtail whimpered as the man tightened his grip on his neck. " Relashio," James cried. The man was thrown back away from Peter, who scrambled into a corner. Lily followed James curse up with a stunner, and a Full Body Bind. Then, the air was alive with popping noises, at least six. Lily and James looked at each other. Another trap. A better one this time, making sure to capture one of James' friends. Anyone would know that the Potters would come running if one of their friends was in danger.

"Well, well, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, we meet again," Bellatrix sneered. James was already annoyed by her talking, so he sent a Reductor Curse at the ceiling above the Death Eaters head. The ceiling crumpled above them and buried them all, except two, under the debris. Unfortunately, one of them was Bellatrix, who dived out of the way in time. The other one began to immediately duel with James. Three missed Stuns, four dodged Killing Curses, another dodged Imperius curse, one Full Body Bind, and another Stun later, James stood over an unconscious and motionless Rabastan Lestrange. But someone was laughing, a hollow merciless laugh. James turned around to find Lily and Wormtail backed into a corner by Bellatrix Lestrange. Lily had a bloody nose, and was wandless. Wormtail, standing mostly behind Lily, had his wand pointed at Bellatrix, but his hand was shaking too much for it to be of much use. This is probably what had caused Bellatrix to laugh.

Actually, what had caused Bellatrix to laugh was the frozen look of terror that took over Lily's face, when Bellatrix commented that "all this jumping around probably wasn't good for the baby".

How does she know?, Lily thought as terror froze her into place. And then one word started in the back of her head, and worked its way forward until it echoed and bounced around her head, filling it completely. Spy. But then even that thought was obscured by a pain in her abdomen that forced her to slump against Peter and slide to the floor, screaming all the while. She had been so caught up in her realization that she hadn't heard Bellatrix cry, "crucio", and point her wand at Lily's stomach.

**A/N: ok, so its another cliff hanger. Don't hate me. Feel free to express your outrage in some reviews. **


	10. The Turning Point

"There's a spy," Lily croaked through the blackness that engulfed her.

"What?" came the concerned tones of James's voice. Lily's eyes fluttered open, and James face swam before her. She blinked, and everything became much clearer. She appeared to be lying down in a bed, and James was standing over her, worry etched into his handsome face. She felt that his hand was holding hers; she gave it a squeeze.

"I'm all right," she answered the question that James was asking with his eyes, "but there is a spy in the Order." That was so important for him to understand.

James frowned, "What makes you say that?"

"Bellatrix," she explained, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice, "she asked me about the baby . . ." Lily's voice trailed off as she remembered the events from before the blackness.

* * *

What had caused Bellatrix to laugh was the petrified look that took over Lily's face when Bellatrix commented that "all this jumping around probably wasn't good for the baby".

_How does she know?_ Lily thought as terror froze her into place. And then one word started in the back of her head, and worked its way forward until it echoed and bounced around her head, filling it completely. _Spy._ But then even that thought was obscured by a pain in her abdomen that forced her to slump against Peter and slide to the floor, screaming all the while. The pain lasted for maybe fifteen seconds . . .thirty . . .an hour . . .an epoch . . .an age, but in a flash of flesh and robes the curse was lifted. James had hurtled himself at Bellatrix, tackled her to the ground, and wrenched her wand away from her. Lily took one deep shuttering breath to relieve herself from the ghost of the pain that lingered in her body. Then, her stomach had contracted, and she was in pain again. All strength robbed from her, she passed out.

* * *

"The baby," Lily gasped, and tried to sit up, feeling panic stricken.

"Won't be helped by you exhausting yourself," James pointed out as he gently pushed her back onto the bed.

"But its all right? Its not hurt?" she interrogated her husband. Her hand flew over her stomach feeling for rounded tightness that she could feel, but could not see.

"The baby is fine, a little traumatized but all right-not the emotional trauma, either, so there's no need to start bringing in the shrinks yet, Mrs. Potter."

Lily relaxed a little, and looked around. The floors were teal tile, the walls were white, and everything smelled sterile. She was in the hospital. "If everything is all right, then why am I in St. Mungo's?" she asked suspiciously, dreading that James had been keeping some horrible secret from her.

"Well, we wanted to make sure everything was ok," he explained, a bit nervously, "and then they gave you a Sleeping Drought. You've been out since." James fell silent then, and watched Lily rub her stomach with an increasing amount of melancholy.

Lily noticed this, and knew that something was bothering him. "James," she called softly, gently. He turned to face her, and she was surprised to see tears welling up in his eyes. "James, what's wrong?" she asked, her turn to be concerned.

James took a calming breath. "Lily," he whispered, "I have never been more scared in my entire life than when I saw Bellatrix torturing you," he paused as his voice began to crack. "It- I- it- it felt as though everything that was important or essential or everything that ever meant anything at all was being tortured with you. And the love of my life and my child were being wiped away from me. And- and- Lily, I can't do this anymore. I can't go through that again." He was inches away from her now, and barely audible.

Lily reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. He willingly buried his face in her neck, and silently shed his tears, the only testament of which was the moisture that Lily felt on her shoulder. "I know, James. I know." And Lily was glad to have a husband that loved her so much that he would do anything to save her, to protect her, and to defend her. A man that felt for her so deeply that her pain brought him to tears. And even more importantly, a man who trusted her so implicitly that he was not afraid to shed those tears in front of her. James was a great husband, though he made mistakes, and he would be a great father. Lily was never as sure of anything as she was of that fact.

When Lily was released from the hospital in the morning, they went and had a chat with Dumbledore. Lily was more vulnerable, now. She had to admit it. They both were, because they were no longer looking out for each other but for the welfare of their unborn child. They had discussed this; they had decided. James and Lily either worked in the field together or not at all. They chose not at all. Their contacts in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement would secure a desk job for James. That way he could pass classified information to the Order, and keep an eye open for unusual incidents and behaviors. After a few years, when things settled down at home and in the world, James would put in for Auror training- a little old, but not too old. With the fighting he had done for the war, they were bound to accept him. When their child was old enough to start Muggle school, which Lily thought it important for him or her to attend, she would start reviewing and taking classes to become a Healer. Meanwhile, she would schedule patrol assignments and various duties within the Order. She was good at organization and time-management. They would move back to Godric's Hollow. This new plan for their future was incredibly different from the one they had envisioned while still at Hogwarts, where Lily and James went into Healer and Auror training immediately following school. But they had altered their plans to fight against Lord Voldemort; they could certainly change their plans to revolve around something that was bound to be their greatest joy, their proudest accomplishment. It was not the path they had set out upon, but it was a path that could work.

**A/N: It's pretty sappy, and fluffly, but its needed. Though it sounds final, its not the end of the story, so sit tight. **


	11. Mummy to be

**A/N: At this point, Lily is about five months pregnant.**

Someone knocked on the front door. Lily quickly threw down the yarn she was attempting to crochet to answer it, happy for the excuse to stop. She stood up and stretched backwards, hands on her hips. Her petite frame was unused to the recently developed weight at her abdomen. She padded into the foyer and tugged open the heavy oak door. There on the other side of the screen door was Remus Lupin , standing on her front porch and carrying a shopping bag full of food items. To his right and slightly behind him stood . . .

"Is this her? Oh, Remus, she's lovely."

His mother.

"Hullo, Mrs. Lupin," Lily greeted cheerily through her blush. She had actually never met Remus' mum before, but recognized her from the caring chocolate brown eyes and light reddish brown hair that Remus seemed to have inherited. Lily thought it a bit sad that both mother and son's hair was flecked with grey, though Mrs. Lupin's was due to the fact that she was now in her mid-forties. "Come in," Lily added, remembering her manners.

"She insisted on coming," Remus whispered out of the corner of his mouth as he brushed past Lily.

" It's all right; it's great, actually, to finally be able to meet your mum," Lily responded earnestly. Then asked louder, "What's with the shopping bag?"

Mrs. Lupin heard that. "I thought you might want a fresh, hot meal for lunch, Lily dear. Now, do you mind joining me in the kitchen?" Lily must have looked worried, because she added, "Don't worry a lot of new wives and mothers are terrible cooks. It's a skill honed over time."

Fifteen minutes later, however, Lily was shooed out of the kitchen after dropping the pan, spilling the salt and the flour, and breaking the porcelain saltshaker by letting it slip into the pan. She went to join Remus in the sitting room to whence he had retreated. She found him asleep in an armchair with a book lying open on his chest. "Oi," she called sharply, "You look like me."

Remus started and the book slipped to the floor. Bending down to pick it up, he asked vaguely, "What?"

"You. Sleeping. It's my new favorite pastime," Lily explained as rubbed her stomach for emphasis.

"How'd the cooking go," Remus smirked.

"Do you have to ask," Lily whined as she plopped down on the sofa next to his armchair, "I'm going to be a terrible mother."

"No, you're not," Remus argued, looking affronted by the thought.

"Yes. I. Am. I can't do anything motherly. I can't cook, I can't bake, I can't crochet, or knit, or sew. I can't make birdhouses out of macaroni-"

"Why would you need to be able to make birdhouses out of macaroni?" Remus interrupted.

"That's not the point," Lily mumbled.

"What is the point?" Remus prodded.

"I'm just not domestic, ok!" Lily exploded, her temper rising suddenly. "Sorry," she added a moment later, "it's the hormones."

"It's quite all right," Remus insisted, before continuing, "You don't have to be domestic to be a great mother. Merlin knows, my mother wasn't-"

Lily snorted, "She walked into the house and into the kitchen."

"Believe me, cooking is a skill she honed over time. I have first hand experience," he countered, effectively stopping Lily from arguing. He started again, "Lily, you have so many wonderful traits that your child is going to value and love you for. You're smart, funny, talented, creative, and, above all, you're very loving. And I'm sure, that with all those traits combined, you'll be able to figure out how to make a macaroni birdhouse, should your child insist on having one."

Lily laughed and felt better. "I think I sometimes feel bad, because James is just such a natural father," she admitted.

He is, isn't he?" Remus consented, looking highly amused.

"Oh, yeah," Lily nodded emphatically.

"And Sirius is going to be that really cool uncle that's a bit of a bad influence," Remus mused, laughing a little.

"But of course," Lily agreed throwing up her hands. "You know what that makes you, then?"

"The family werewolf?"

Lily snorted, "No, the mentor uncle." Remus looked confused, so she elaborated, "You know the one that sits and listens to all your problems patiently and guides you and stuff. Like a teacher."

Remus was flattered and blushed slightly, before saying, "I would love to be a teacher."

"You'd be great," Lily exclaimed, "Who knows, maybe Dumbledore will hire you someday!"

"Lunch is ready!" Mrs. Lupin's voice echoed through the house before Remus had a chance to give Lily a skeptical look.

The three of them sat down at the kitchen table to enjoy the wonderful soup that Mrs. Lupin had made. "So," Mrs. Lupin began once they were all settled, "is it a boy or a girl or a surprise?"

"It's a boy," Lily piped up immediately.

" That's darling," Mrs. Lupin replied.

"I know," Lily continued excitedly, "James was overjoyed about having a son. I mean he would have been excited if it were a girl, too, but I think he wanted to have a boy first. Can't say I disagree; it's nice for a little girl to have a big brother."

"I always wanted more children," Mrs. Lupin said sadly, "but after Remus was bitten, it would've been too much to handle." She grabbed her son's hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Lupin," Lily said.

"Eleanor, please," Mrs. Lupin insisted, before adding, "besides, I have a wonderful son."

"That you do, Eleanor," Lily agreed heartily.

"Have you got any names picked out, yet?" Eleanor asked.

"Why, yes we do . . ." and the conversation continued in that thread for sometime. Lily's willingness to talk about such things only confirmed Remus' belief that Lily would indeed be a fantastic mother.

Before they left, Mrs. Lupin gave Lily some tips on crocheting, which Lily lapped up eagerly.

"Why do you want to crochet?" Remus asked Lily.

"I thought it would be nice to make the baby a blanket," she shrugged.

"See you're domestic; you just haven't honed the skills yet," Remus insisted.

Lily smiled and walked the two of them to the front door. As they stood in the foyer, Eleanor turned to Lily and looked her over. "Beautiful, beautiful," she muttered. Lily couldn't hide her disbelief, well aware, that she was swollen and had a stomach the size of a quaffle. "You are," Mrs. Lupin insisted, " You have that glow."

_That's because I'm blushing_, Lily thought skeptically.

"She's right, you know. You're radiant. Always have been; always will be," Remus joined his mother.

"Thank you," Lily whispered. They said their goodbyes, and Lily shut the door behind them before going back to the living room to take up her crochet.

**A/N: I accidentally erased this entire chapter and had to write it again. So tell me how it turned out. Hope you enjoyed it. **


	12. Daddy to be

Lily was asleep when James got up for work that morning, as per usual. At six months along she deserved her rest. James showered and dressed, and went through his entire morning toilet with his eyes half closed. It was a surprise when he didn't nick himself shaving. James stepped out of the steamy bathroom dressed in red robes, his name badge attached to the front, and looked at his wife sleeping soundly on the bed. _Still just as beautiful as always_, he thought. He had a few minutes left before he had to leave, so he laid back down next to her on top of the covers. He always got up ten minutes early, just so he could do that. It was odd to not be around each other all the time. And while that situation definitely had its perks, James missed being able to kiss Lily at 2:23 in the afternoon if he felt like it. But, such is life. He reached out and brushed the hair out of her face, tucking it neatly behind one ear. He counted the freckles that ran across the bridge of her nose and ran his hand over her smooth cheek. James gave Lily a kiss goodbye in response to which she mumbled something incoherent in her sleep. Next, he laid his head gently against her huge stomach, listened for a second, and whispered, "Goodbye, baby." Then, he slid silently from the bed, grabbed his briefcase from the foyer, and walked the quarter kilometer down to the front gate where he Apparated to work.

It was a busy Friday morning at the Ministry of Magic. All down the atrium and in the lift, people greeted James jovially. He quickly found that he was just as popular here than he was at Hogwarts. He was respected for the field work he had done in the war, for surviving Voldemort three times, and the sacrifices (or so they called them) he had made for the war, and now for his wife and unborn child. Most people inquired after Lily as well, and he was always eager to tell. He kept quite a few pictures of them in his cubicle, and various witches would always smile as they passed them. If times weren't so dark and people were throwing dinner parties, than James and Lily Potter would be at the top of their lists. They were the prodigy couple, and everybody assumed that they would have a prodigy child.

At 9:04, James arrived at his desk. Several paper airplanes were already zooming about his square of space rapidly. As he settled himself in, two more arrived. He sighed. It was his job to complete the paperwork that the law enforcement squad didn't, and to fill out sipina requests, and to set up trial dates for various petty offenses. Boring. Ten paper airplane memos and far too many pieces of paperwork that needed to be filled out in triplicate later, James leaned back in his chair, and popped his cramped fingers. He looked at the clock, 12:17; time for lunch.

Despite his secretarial position, James would always eat with the Aurors in the Ministry cafeteria, and not necessarily the one's who worked for the Order. He had many friends and acquaintances among them, and would sit with whatever group happened to flag him down first. Today, however, he sat with Edgar Bones and his sister, Amelia.

"That desk job of yours is a waste of your talents, James," Amelia commented severely.

James shrugged. He received that same remark several times a day. He knew it was a waste of his talents, Dumbledore knew, Lily knew, Sirius and Remus knew, Edgar knew, hell, the lunch lady holding the big silver ladle knew. But . . . "I have my family to think about, Amelia."

"I know," she sighed. Though not an inducted member of the Order, she knew enough about the ins and outs of it through Edgar to understand what James was doing. "And," she continued, "as Aurors, Edgar and I will probably never settle down."

"I'm pretty sure, Mum, has already given up on that idea," Edgar grunted, "but at least she has Aaron to give her grandchildren." Aaron was their younger brother.

James laughed drawing Amelia's attention back to him, "you know, everybody in the office is whispering how you're going to take after your father and become Head of Magical Law Enforcement, James."

James snorted into his pudding, "Not if I continue in the job I'm in."

"Yeah, but you won't," Amelia countered, "You'll apply for Auror training soon enough."

James shrugged again. "Yeah, but Amelia, you provide some stiff competition for Head of Magical Law Enforcement."

James had never seen Amelia Bones blush before.

After lunch, James returned to his desk to find three more memos and an owl waiting for him. He untied the letter from the owl first, and opened the scroll. It read: _Prongs, Correct me if I'm wrong, but Lily has a meeting with Dumbledore tonight to discuss next weeks assignments right? Which means the four of us are meeting in the Leaky Cauldron at six o'clock. No excuses. -Padfoot_

James smiled. Now, he had something to look forward to, other than an empty house. He quickly took care of the other two tasks that had been waiting for him before moving on to his work for the Order. Today, he had to collect a file on a petty criminal by the name of Antwon Boggs, whose crimes, they had reason to believe, were not so petty anymore. Easy, it was in his department. James strolled over to the filing cabinet, and pulled out Boggs file. Then, he strolled back to his desk. While he pretended to fill out another incident report on Mr. Boggs he simply used his wand to copy the pages. Then he slipped the copy into his briefcase, closed the file, strolled back over, and returned it. _Piece of bloody cake_. It didn't quite fulfill James the way tackling six Death Eaters did, but at least he was doing something.

James rejoiced when the clock read, 5:55. It was close enough to six o'clock that he could just leave. No one would hinder him since he had spent the last hour and a half throwing a Muggle bouncy ball at his cubicle wall. James got in the lift and stood impatiently for it to deliver him to the atrium floor. He bounced on the balls of his feet. He ran his hand through his hair. Always, towards the end of the day, James would began to feel like a hyper dog that had been cooped up too long, and would humor his nervous habits. Finally, he was in the atrium waiting for a floo to the Leaky Cauldron.

A half hour later, Sirius, Remus, and James sat in a booth at the Leaky Cauldron, requesting another round of drinks, and laughing hysterically.

"And the look on Peter's face when he found out where that rogue Shrinking Charm had hit," Remus gasped tears leaking down his face, "you remember?"

James slapped his hand on the table several times. "Yeah, and Sirius gave him a speech on how to a lot of women size doesn't matter, but it's skill that's important."

Remus almost fell out of his chair at the memory of it all. "And then," Sirius joined, "he tried the counter charm but was so upset that he messed it all up, and- and." Sirius couldn't continue, he was laughing too hard.

"He had to go see Madam Pomfrey!" Remus and James finished simultaneously, as the waitress set down some mead and firewhisky in front of them, shaking her head.

"You boys take it easy now," she advised as she walked away. In truth, it was only their second round. They were usually like this whenever they went out.

After several more minutes of off and on chuckling and giggling, James asked, "Why did you say Peter couldn't come?"

"Said his Mum was ill," Sirius replied as he lit a cigarette.

"Hmmm," James responded. "But his face was priceless." There was another explosion of laughter.

When James got home at eight o'clock that night, Lily was taking a nap on the sofa. Before going over to her, he used his wand to rid himself of the smell of Sirius' cigarettes and alcohol. She knew he had gone out with the boys, but there was no need to make her nauseous with the smell. He kneeled by the couch and laid his head down on her stomach just like he did in the morning. "Hello, son, how are you?" he asked. Though he knew he wouldn't be getting an answer he recognized, he liked to talk to the baby. He was hoping that when little Harry, or Alfred, or Oberon was born that they would recognize his voice. He looked around the room as he listened, and noticed Lily's crochet on the coffee table. It was beginning to resemble something square. She had made progress.

Lily stirred just then. Still half-asleep she groped with her right arm trying to figure out what was lying on her stomach. "Ow," James exclaimed as she hit him on the head.

"I'm sorry, James," she said. James removed his head to look at his wife as she pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"So," he began their nightly ritual, "how was your day, dear?"

**A/N: If this chapter seems boring, I kind of did that on purpose. To let everybody know that James life was kind of ordinary and boring now. I hope you liked the bar scene. I read a fanfiction, I think it was "Under the Enchanted Mistletoe" where Lily mentions using a Shrinking Charm on Vernon. I thought it was brilliant, so I was glad when an opportunity came up for me to use it. Also, it was brought to my attention in a review that my story differs slightly from the books. That would be because I wrote this story before Deathly Hallows came out. Just so you know: they are living in Godric's Hollow, but the Fidelius charm and such hasn't been performed yet. **


	13. A Curious Death

**A/N: Lily is now seventh months pregnant.**

Lily had fallen asleep on her favorite sofa again. the small green rectangle she had been crocheting lay abandoned on the floor, where it had rolled when Lily had moved to lay on her left side, a much more comfortable position. The warm effect of the mug of tea she had been drinking, and the soft pattering of rain outside the window had made her very sleepy. Though, it did not take much to put a woman into her third trimester to sleep. But a thump on her porch made her pull awake. Lily looked around her groggily, not really understanding what had caused her to wake up so suddenly. Then, there was a knock on the front door, a pause, and then more urgent knocking. Lily got up as fast as pregnancy allowed, and trotted to the door. She wrenched it open. On the other side of the screen door was a distraught and drenched Remus Lupin. He had a cut above his right eye that was trickling blood, under which a nasty bruise was forming. There was a collection of red and purple marks wrapped like a necklace around his throat, and it was obvious that somebody had tried to strangle him. Lily knew there must be more, less obvious, wounds, as well.

"Mum's dead," he announced grimly before Lily could find her voice to invite him in.

* * *

Lily and Remus were in the kitchen, and Lily was pouring herself a glass of half-and-half creamer. "That cannot be healthy," Remus commented.

Lily shrugged, "I need this right now; it calms me."

Remus nodded and fell silent again. He had insisted on waiting till James arrived from work to tell his tale. He had also, for the first time in Lily's memory, refused an offer of tea, which just served to increase her foreboding.

"How are you doing, Remus?" she inquired, gazing concernedly at him. He was taking it much differently than James had when his parent's died. But then again, that had happened before they had joined the war effort. James was only eighteen then; Remus was twenty and had seen a lot of horrible deaths.

Remus looked at her and knew that she wasn't inquiring about his cuts. "I don't think it has sunk in yet, really."

Lily nodded. Just then there was a ruckus in the fire, and James came toppling out of the fireplace in flash of emerald flame. He had left work in a rush when he had received Lily's urgent message, and was fumbling all over the place. He spotted Remus' at the table, and exclaimed in shock and concern, "What in the bloody hell happened to you?"

"Mum's dead," Remus replied.

James became completely still and looked at Remus closely. "That's not all, is there?" he asked. Remus shook his head. James collapsed into a chair.

"Remus, what happened?" Lily asked quietly, her voice betraying her nervousness.

"It was Death Eaters, quite a few of them. They burst in on Mum in the kitchen, or at least that's where I walked in on them."

"Were they looking for you?" James asked briskly.

Yes and no, I think," was Remus 's answer, and again he and James looked at each other for a long moment.

"What?" Lily said, not understanding the boys' silent communication.

Remus turned to her and sighed. "When I ran into the kitchen they were torturing Mum trying to get her to tell them where I was," he explained, "but instead of killing her when I conveniently showed up, they kept her alive to torture as they interrogated me."

Lily gasped, "Oh, Remus."

"It's ok. That game didn't go on long before Mum tried to hit one of them on the head with a frying pan when they had their backs turned. They immediately killed her then."

Lily bowed her head. But James continued his piercing stare at Remus, which Remus returned. It wasn't an unkind look, but a look that meant that the worse part was still to come. "What did they want to know, Moony," James prodded quietly.

"About you," Remus replied, his voice barely above a whisper. Lily's head shot up. "They wanted to know where you were, and what you were doing."

"Where I am?" James shouted, looking incredulous. "I traipse in and out of the bloody Ministry every day!"

"I think they were more interested in Lily's whereabouts actually." Remus turned his gaze on Lily's bulging stomach, before he and James, who had gone rigid, resumed staring at each other.

"You didn't tell them, did you?" Lily asked, terror seeping into her system. But she answered her own question before Remus got the chance, "no, of course not," she whispered, "but how did you get away?"

"I managed to send out a Patronus, and the guard showed up."

"But why do they want to know where we are?" Lily asked the void.

As if in response, there was note of phoenix song, a flame, and a letter from Dumbledore floated down onto the kitchen table. _Hogwarts, my office. Tonight. 7pm._

James and Lily looked at each other. This was definitely not good.

**A/N: f.y.i. Remus visits his mother as often as he can. A little more often than usual at this point, because he was recently fired from his job at Flourish and Blotts for absenteeism. He had a hard time juggling the full moon, and Order duties. So this a bit of a cliff hanger for you, though I'm pretty sure you probably know what's coming. Hope you enjoyed it! **


	14. The Prophecy

James faced the ceiling and let the days' events replay in his mind as he lay in bed that night. He had received an urgent message at work, then there was Remus, beaten and bruised, in the kitchen, Mrs. Lupin was gone, and-James closed his eyes to control the emotions flaring up- and a message from Dumbledore. He felt his throat tighten as panic, fear, anger, and dread welled up inside of him. He felt crushed by the weight of inevitability.

Beside him, lying on her left side, Lily was taking deep breaths as though she couldn't force enough air into her lungs. The pressure of the baby inside her, and the pressure of the prophecy made her feel like her lungs were being smashed beneath her pounding heart. A new, more intense fear that she had never known before had sprang up inside of her tonight, a maternal fear. Lily groped for James' hand and clasped it tightly, like she had done in Dumbledore's office.

* * *

The Floo system made Lily feel awkward and clumsy, but it was the easiest way to transport a pregnant woman to Hogwarts. James went before to steady her when she had stopped spinning. She placed both hands in his as she stepped out of the fireplace in Dumbledore's office. The feeling of her husband's palms against hers was comforting, though she still felt the apprehension that had been lurking with her all afternoon.

James and Lily turned around and got their first surprise of the evening. Alice Longbottom, with expanded stomach, was lounging in a comfortable armchair, and Frank stood behind her. They both looked tense and confused, the same way James and Lily felt. James helped Lily into an armchair similar to Alice's and stood beside her. He never released her hand. Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen. The room was silent.

There were no knowing smiles exchanged between the pregnant ladies as there might have been under different circumstances. The fathers stared straight ahead; they did not exchange a word. All four knew that something terrible was coming.

The door to the office opened and shut behind them. The two couples jumped and turned their heads. Dumbledore gave them an apologetic smile, but there was no twinkle in his eye. Something terrible was coming.

As Dumbledore moved to his desk, four pairs of eyes followed him intently. They watched him pull a stone basin towards him, place his wand tip to his temple, and remove a long strand of something silvery. He looked up at the four young people in front of him. A sadness seemed to emanate from him and fill the room. Something terrible was coming.

James suddenly felt like screaming at Dumbledore to not speak. As if it wasn't said it would simply go away. He was being completely irrational and knew it, but his mouth opened just the same. A choking noise escaped his throat before he clamped his mouth shut again. All eyes turned towards him, but James kept looking at Dumbledore. What he saw was sympathy.

"Four nights ago," Dumbledore began and then related the tale of the Seer he was interviewing for post of Divination teacher. When he came to the part about the prophecy, he stabbed at the Pensieve with his wand. The smoky figure of a woman that looked like a glittering insect rose out of the bowl. A raspy voice filled the room as all five adults listened intensely. The room was suffocating in silence as the couples tried to let the prophecy sink in after the voice had died and the image faded back into the bowl. Finally, Frank asked, "What does that mean?"

* * *

Dumbledore had told them what it meant, and as Lily and James laid in bed the magnitude and the reality of it finally reached them. A baby born to parents, who had survived Voldemort three times, at the end of July was destined to either destroy or be destroyed by the Dark Lord. Such a prophecy pertained to either the Potters or the Longbottoms. And Voldemort himself would choose whom it was to be.

That's when Dumbledore had fallen melancholy again. He explained to them the prophecy could have amounted to nothing if a Death Eater hadn't over heard the first half of it. Dumbledore hadn't realized that the spy told Voldemort after being apprehended until the attack on Mrs. Lupin. And consequently, because Voldemort had only heard the first part, it was likely that he would try and do away with both families.

The tears ran thicker from Lily's eyes at the memory, and James throat pained him again. They clutched each other's hands so tight that the circulation was being cut off.

"James," Lily began, her voice strangled and wet with tears, "what are we going to do?"

"Well," James responded slowly, trying to sound stable and strong in the face of everything, "we're going to change our plans . . ."

"Again," Lily muttered.

"Again," James repeated. "Once the baby is born, we'll put up extra defenses around the house. And we'll pull away from . . . most people." He was trying to avoid using the word 'hide'.

Lily nodded.

"I'll quit the Ministry," he continued, "and we'll both be home to take care of the baby together."

"I love you," Lily whispered.

"I love you, too," James returned sincerely. He rolled over onto his side and faced his wife, beautiful despite the red blotches on her face. He gave her a soft, gentle kiss before scrunching down and laying his head near her stomach. "And I love him."

Three words from James and a kiss always seemed adequate to dry her tears and make her feel better. So Lily was able to chuckle a little, "It seems silly to love some one who hasn't even been born yet, but we do."

"Yes, we do," James sighed and traced little designs over her stomach with his fingers.

They were quiet for several moments, until James heard Lily choke back another sob. Raising his head, he inquired, "What's wrong, my love?"

"It seems," Lily gasped, "that we're having to bury our baby before he's born."

James enveloped Lily the best he could around the bulk of their son. "No, no," he comforted, "I'll die before I bury my child or you. I'd die for you." He meant every word.

Lily cried harder. "I know," she croaked, "I know, and I feel the same way but-but- It's too much, James. It's too much for a child to live with."

"But he won't have to live with it alone. He'll have us."

"And we're going to love him no matter what," Lily joined.

"Of course. We already do."

"But," Lily pointed out, sounding a but calmer, "what if something happens to us?"

James gulped. "Then-then," he felt strangely breathless, "he'll have Sirius, and, and Remus and your parents and- and . . ."

"Dumbledore," Lily breathed.

"And Dumbledore," James agreed. He grasped at hope, a demented hope. "Besides, it may not even be our kid that Voldemort picks."

"That's right," Lily consented, "it isn't for sure yet."

The words that tumbled out of her mouth were oddly reminiscent of the words she had spoken the night she had revealed her pregnancy to James.

_It's not for sure. _

She couldn't make herself believe it. Beside her, neither could James.

Sometimes you just know that some things are for certain.


	15. Nine Months and Three Days

Lily tried to hide the mild look of disgust that had crossed her face as she stared down at the picture of her sister's month old son. He was already tremendously beefy, unfortunately, like his father. Lily's mum, who was standing before her expectantly, had pulled it out of her purse. She caught the look on her youngest daughter's face. "He look likes Vernon, I know," Mrs. Evans said scrunching up her nose.

Lily laughed at the less than proud grandmother standing before her. "Not that it keeps me from loving him," she added quickly, "but our family really does have such nice features." She beamed at her radiant daughter, nine months pregnant.

Lily, feeling far from radiant, scowled. She knew her mum saw her do so and knew what was coming next. It was what everybody said.

"You have that glow."

If Lily was glowing it was because it was unbelievebly hot in this room. It made her face flush and perspiration broke out over her skin. Being heavily pregnant at the end of July was no joke. Her mother was trying to ease her discomfort by spending the day with her daughter, but to no avail. Lily truly appreciated the gesture, but her mother's bustling just seemed to make the room hotter. Her head ached, her back ached, and she wanted nothing more than for the baby to just come out already.

But another part of her wanted the baby to stay in there for just a few more days. The due date had been the 26th of July, and her son was now three days overdue.

Another three days and they may just outsmart the prophecy.

Lily was feeling completely torn, consequently making her mood swings even more violent. Poor James was practically pulling out his hair to try and please her, and sometimes he succeeded in doing so. But he couldn't be there all the time, and the Marauders had stepped in to fill his place while he was at work. Peter had had the least success, since merely being near Lily when she was in such a 'delicate' condition made him extremely nervous, especially her new found propensity for chucking things when she was upset. Sirius had put forth his full effort into the duty, but had accidentally made Lily cry when he made a joke about a man with uncontrollable flatulence. Sirius was not female, and had no idea that uncontrollable flatulence was one of the nastier aspects of pregnancy. He had made up for the mistake, though, by bringing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, apple cider, pickles and chocolate the next time he came. Remus had done best of all, and, being once again out of work, had more free time. He had researched Lily's condition, true to his nature, and walked delicately around some topics, but didn't patronize her, knowing that would only infuriate the pregnant woman. He cooked simple and tasty meals, read to her, and waited on her. However, he was still a man, and Lily couldn't help wanting to have a girl friend with her. She corresponded with Alice Longbottom occasionally, but didn't see her as it would be very difficult for either of them to travel. The last note she had received was from Frank, saying that Alice had gone into labor right on time. That was ten minutes ago. So, devoid of female companions, Mrs. Evans had stepped into to care for her daughter. It was a job that she was only too happy to take on.

Seeing Lily's discomfort and pain, Mrs. Evans suggested, "If you would just go to a normal hospital, they could induce the labor for you."

Lily shook her head violently no. She couldn't stop it if the baby wanted to come before the end of July, but she wasn't purposely going to throw her child into the path of the prophecy. Mrs. Evans had no inkling of any prophecy that destined her grandchild to be either a savior or a martyr as she fluffed a pillow and stuck it behind her daughter's back; Lily hadn't the heart to tell her. Lily and James, in fact, had told no one about the prophecy. Not Peter, not Remus, and not even Sirius. They were simply informed that the arrival of their son would put the Potters at greater risk, and ,that soon, they would probably go into hiding. Since then, Lily and James had seen even more of the other Marauders, even Peter, as if they all knew deep down that the end was approaching. Of course, no one said that-not even to themselves.

Lily fell asleep on the couch as the afternoon wore on, and ,when she awoke, she smelled something wonderful coming from the kitchen. She tried to stand and follow her nose, but found that the simple action was proving difficult. She called out for assistance instead. Lily was pleasantly surprised to see that it was James that had responded to her call. "The man of my dreams, my hero," she joked as he slowly pulled her to her feet.

"Glad to see you've finally come around to being rescued, my love," James bantered back playfully. They kissed hello. "So, dear, how was your day?" James asked.

"Oh, marvelous," Lily replied sardonically as she rolled her eyes, "first, I met with the Minister of Magic to discuss my status as a rising asset to his council, then I gave a lecture on "lycanthropy and the toddler" after Remus insisted that I speak in his class at Hogwarts, and before I decided to come home and take a nap, I attended a banquet held in my honor for my brilliance as a Healer."

"That good, huh?"

"My head hurts, my back hurts, it's hot, and sticky and dreadful," Lily whined, not at all ashamed. She figured that's why husbands are there, to listen to you complain whilst your carrying their child in what used to be a flat and rather attractive looking stomach.

James smiled sympathetically, genuinely caring but not understanding. "It won't be long now."

Lily's mood swung from aggravated to fearful. "Let's hope he doesn't come too soon."

"Yes, let's hope."

There was silence for a moment before Lily remembered something. "Where's Mum?"

"In the kitchen. She insisted on cooking dinner after deciding I looked haggard and worked to the bone," James explained.

"Oh, yes. You have it sooo bad, don't you?" Lily drawled sarcastically as her mood swung once again. James just looked at her pointedly, as if her comment had just proved her mother's point. Which it had. "Sorry," Lily added, "I'm being a bitch." Tears welled up in her eyes.

James jumped in quickly. "No, no, no- you're completely excused. You''re nine months pregnant, Lily, my love."

After a nice dinner, Mrs. Evans made her leave and left via a temporary Floo connection to her home in Surrey. Lily was feeling sleepy again, and so was James. He helped her up the staircase and into bed before crawling in after her. They were asleep almost instantly.

Lily felt pain in her abdomen. She didn't think much of it; she had been having what her Maternity Healer had referred to as "practice contractions" for weeks now. She dozed off again. The next time, she felt the pain it was stronger and more intense. She opened her eyes. It was a bit chilly in the room and the sky outside was grey. The clock on the night stand read five a.m., the little day-by-day calender said July 29th. That wasn't right. Lily reached out and pulled off the top page of the calender. It now said July 30th. She continued to lay in bed, as though she was waiting for something. Approximately ten minutes later, it came. The pain lasted about twenty seconds.

"James," Lily called softly. No response. "James," she said louder.

"Mmmm," was her husband's only response.

"James," she tried again, growing a bit irritable. "Fine, I'll just have Sirius or Remus take me to the hospital."

That got him. "What?" James sputtered, instantly coming to life.

"I think I'm in labor."

"What makes you say that?" James asked stupidly, his mind racing to catch up.

"Oh, I don't know. It could be the shooting bursts of pain I've been having every ten minutes," she retorted sarcastically, finding no reason to feel bad about it this time.

"Are you all right? Do we need to leave now? Want some ice chips?" James was on his feet now.

"What in the bloody hell are you blithering on about? All I want right now is for you to help me up, so I can go to the bathroom," Lily directed.

James did as he was told and was bouncing around, unable to control his excitement and nervousness. Lily laughed at him, though towards the end, her smile turned into a grimace and she squeezed his arm as he walked her to the bathroom. "Another contraction?" James asked the obvious.

Sensing his goodwill, Lily didn't have the heart to be mean. She nodded instead.

When she was done in the loo, Lily managed to convince James that he could take his time getting ready, and to make all necessary preparations. She wrote a short note to her mother telling her that she had gone into labor and would contact her again when it was all over. She also sent a note to Frank Longbottom, extending the same courtesy he had shown her. Though, if he was now a daddy, Lily thought he probably wouldn't care. James had more messages to send than Lily did. He owled into work explaining that he wouldn't be in for a few days, and sent messages to Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Dumbledore.

While she sat out the contractions and waited for James to finish, a million thoughts raced through Lily's mind. She worried that something would go horribly wrong and that she would die or the baby would die or they would both die. Or, that the baby would have something wrong with it, or, that by some cruel karma, her son would also come out looking like Vernon Dursley. She also had daydreams of an easy and painless birth, but every contraction managed to wipe that image clear from her mind. Mostly she wondered if she would be a good mother. James, Lily knew, would be an excellent father. But she wasn't too sure of her parenting skills or instincts.

As he flew about the house, collecting things, James was also doing some thinking. He was excited and almost euphoric that his baby boy was coming at last. But he had looked at the calendar on the nightstand as well, and knew that they were still in July. He felt scared as he signed off the note he was sending to Peter. James looked at Lily, and felt excited again. I mean, this was a dream come true. Ever since their second year at Hogwarts, James had daydreams about having a family of his own with Lily Evans . . . now, Lily Potter. He smiled to himself, before announcing that he was ready to go.

**A/N: Just a reminder, this story was written pre-Deathly Hallows. (so thats why HP is born at St. Mungos) This is the beginning of the end of the story folks. I call this the chapter of sarcasm and fluff. I hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think.**


	16. Enter Harry James Potter

Several hours later, Lily was pacing around her small room at the hospital and grunting occasionally. The door opened, and Sirius poked his head in before cautiously stepping inside. Lily stopped and looked at him expectantly.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "Er," he said, "I just passed James in the hall. He told me to check on you and then went on mumbling something about ice chips . . ."

Sirius trailed off as he looked at a completely non-pulsed Lily. Suddenly, her features clouded over in pain, and she gripped the railing of her bed for support. Upon impulse, Sirius rushed forward and held her upright. In about a minute, Lily began to breathe normally again. "Perhaps you should lay down," Sirius suggested.

"No," Lily replied rather violently, "I'm trying to get my water to break."

Not wanting to know what exactly "water breaking" meant, Sirius just nodded mutely as Lily began to pace and grunt again.

"What are you doing here?" she asked after a few moments.

"I got James' message and came over as soon as I got off work," he answered. Lily's face blanched as it struck her how much time she had actually spent pacing the hospital room. Sirius tried to comfort her by saying, "I work the early shift."

"What time is it?" Lily inquired.

Sirius shrugged, trying to avoid the explosion that would come with the truth.

"Sirius," Lily threatened as she began to advance on him, "what time is it?"

"Three," he whispered. He smiled hoping to ease the fall out. Thankfully, Lily only made a small noise of disgust and agitation before she began to pace and grunt with more alacrity. Pace. Grunt. Pace. Grunt. Pace. Grunt. "Stop, stop, stop," Sirius directed, "come here, and I'll give you a massage."

Lily stopped, but that was due to another contraction. Sirius supported her again. "Come on, Lily; you're way too tense." He turned her around and began to rub her shoulders.

Lily allowed herself to relax. "Thank you so much, Sirius," she mumbled.

"No prob . . .problem," he stuttered as he felt something wet splash over the bottom of his pants and onto his shoes. Suddenly, "water breaking" made so much sense.

Lily had tensed again and was staring wide eyed ahead of her. The door opened, and James walked in carrying a glass of ice chips. Lily's and Sirius' heads snapped towards him.

"What did I miss?" he asked, and then eyed the puddle of water that Sirius was standing in. His look was excitement mingled with disgust. "All right, I'll just go get the Healer, then," he said as he stepped out again before adding, "this is bloody wonderful."

Sirius thought James had gone mad.

* * *

The clock struck one a.m., and James swore he could feel his hand breaking as Lily gripped it tightly. She was sweaty and pale and making various noises of pain. James felt glad to know that he was male and exempt from such wonderful life moments. As if she could read his thoughts, Lily squeezed his hand harder.

"Ok, Lily," the Healer was saying, "push; push, Lily. Good, good."

Lily felt a sudden urge to slap the Healer as she bore down. This was very far away from being "good." James winced as she subconsciously took out her frustration in hand squeezing. The pressure, the stinging, and the pain was near unbearable, and Lily felt that if it didn't stop soon that she would pass out.

"There's the head," the Healer announced. Lily snapped out of her thoughts and raised her head off the pillow. James turned towards the end of the bed, but refused to drop Lily's hand and moved no farther.

"Mummy, do you want to see," a nurse asked, indicating to a mirror. Lily considered it, but then considered the pain she was in. She decided that feeling the birthing process was enough, and shook her head. The nurse smiled indulgently and turned towards James, "Daddy, do you want to come down here and look?" James did want to look, but Lily gave his hand a squeeze, not a painful one but a dependent one. He remained where he was. The nurse shrugged.

Another contraction wracked Lily and she bore down. "Whoa, Lily, don't push," the Healer said. Lily, with great effort, stopped pushing, which seemed to make the pain worse.

The nurse smiled down at her encouragingly. "Breathe instead," she suggested, "hee-hoo, hee-hoo, hee-hoo . . ."

Lily didn't have energy to spare for rolling her eyes, so she simply turned her head away from the nurse and looked up at James instead. He wasn't making any annoying breathing noises, or false encouraging smiles. He knew and she knew that it was enough that he was there. So Lily breathed, and James held her hand.

Finally, after seventeen hours, a baby's cry filled the room.

* * *

Date of birth: July 31st, 1980

Time of birth: 2:02 a.m.

Place of Birth: St. Mungo's Hospital, maternity ward

Father: James Edmund Potter

Mother: Lily Marie Potter

Name:

"Ok, Lily," James inquired mockingly, "what's it going to be? Harry or Oberon?"

Lily looked down at the newborn baby she was holding, after finally convincing James to give him up to her. After all, she was only the mother. She took in the mop of black hair, the thin facial features, the chubby, tiny baby hands and feet. If the almond shaped eyes were opened, they'd be green, like hers. "You, know Harry James Potter has a much nicer ring," she sighed.

James laughed, "Yes, I must agree it does." He was thankful that Lily had given up on fancying the name Oberon, because "king of the fairies" his son was not. The awful visions he had of his child being bullied on the playground, because of his name, faded into mist. He smiled down at his exhausted and semi-euphoric wife. Lily smiled right back up at him.

There was the sound of furious whispering from the corner where the door was located. Three young men and an older couple were grouped around it, fighting over whether they should move forward and interrupt or not. James heard Sirius say, "But I'm going to be his godfather, and I want to see him!"

James chuckled. "Lily," he smiled and leaned down, "I think we're making people jealous."

Lily glanced at the Marauders and her parents huddled in the corner now watching the young family intently. She leaned back into the pillows. "Well, we are quite the family."

"Oh, prodigious, to be sure," Remus consented and took the first step forward.

He was quickly overrun by an excited Sirius. However, when he reached Lily's bedside, he became a little hesitant. "May I?" he inquired, indicating to the sleeping infant.

"Of course," Lily said, and allowed James to remove Harry from her arms and pass him to Sirius. Sirius took him carefully.

"Mind his head!" Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans, Lily, James, and Remus all shouted at once. Sirius quickly placed a hand on the back of the baby's head. He looked down at the newborn, who looked so much like the baby pictures of James that had adorned Potter Park, and smiled. The baby, jarred awake by the movement, opened his eyes, and Sirius felt himself fall into a love he had never known before.

"Sirius Black this is Harry James Potter, my son," James announced proudly, suppressing the urge to do a jig. In the moment that everybody gathered about Harry and Sirius to ooh and ahh, the new parents were alone. "I love you," James whispered and gave his wife's cheek a kiss.

"I love you, too," Lily returned. They looked at each other for a moment, reflecting on where the past nine months had taken them. A cloud passed over them for a second as they thought of the prophecy, but they hastily pushed it aside. There was a time and a place for worrying, and it was not on Harry's birthday. With the sun shining once more upon them, Lily insisted that her son be returned to her before she went into withdrawals.

_Fin. _

**A/N: So that's the end. I hope you enjoyed it. As a little factoid, a lot of babies are born with blue eyes, but I went ahead and gave Harry green eyes from the beginning for clarity's sake. And I have a question, how do you think I did making Lily and James grow and progress? Did it seem real? I guess, did I remain true to their personalities and relationship from the beginning of the story but still made them change into the parents they were meant to become? I would really like to know what my readers thought about this story over all. Mostly, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And the dialogue between Lily and James is supposed to mirror their opening remarks in chapter one. Um, reviews? Thank you all. **

**If you're sad about this story ending, here is the shameless plug for my other storeis, esp. Love Stories and Personal Growth: Teddy Lupin. I am planning on posting some other one shots up here if people are interested. I'm feeling greatly inspired at the moment and am writing a lot, so please, if you enjoyed this story—keep an eye out. I'll appreciate it. End of shameless plug. Thank you. **


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